Monday, February 11, 2013
I weighed myself this morning.
I gave myself a little talk beforehand, all about disappointment and knowing what to do after the "reveal" but I guess I wasn't prepared for it to be THAT high.
I mean, I should have known. None of my clothes fit. I feel really awkward. Even my watch is feeling tight on my wrist.
I have pretty much gained everything back.
Years of work, totally undone.
Granted - I was told by my doctor when I started my new meds that they caused weight gain. I was told to stop working out while the other doctor got my spine in order. I am now weaning myself off those meds and I am cleared to begin some cardio and minor weights.
But now I am at Square One.
I refuse to see this as a failure. A slip up, maybe? A wake up call to treat my body right? A reminder of how terrible I feel when I look at myself and I'm awkward and unhappy?
Today I hooked my new work pedometer to myself and I decided I'm not settling for this. I am GOING to move forward. This does not have to be my life. I can feel sorry for myself this morning but then I have to be the person who fixes it and makes it better.
I will only really be a failure if I give up now.