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Long road ahead

Monday, February 11, 2013

This morning I was all over the place. I couldn't stay focused while doing my meditation practice and I almost fell a couple of times during qi gong. I would say that it's unfair that the practice to cultivate my patience is itself a practice in patience, but that's the way the world works, isn't it?

But I still did it. I sat my goal amount of time (even though I peeked at the timer) and I did my goal amount of reps for the qi gong movements and I'm glad I did. I didn't really want to do either. What I wanted to do was go back to sleep.

Sometimes it feels like I spend my entire life asleep. I'm either online not paying attention to the things around me, on my phone not paying attention to the things around me, having a show or music on so I "have something on in the background", and ugh! I know it's not good for me. I was supposed to study this weekend. Midterms are next week.

But, hey. No one said it was going to be easy or that it was going to be a quick fix. I knew it wouldn't and I took it on anyway. I know that if I keep at it I'll still have good days and bad days, but over time I'll start to see the changes I want to see.
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