It's Official.. I'm having an Identity Crisis!!
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Hello Spark Friends!!
If you read my last blog, you know that I was feeling very confused about food after I met with the personal trainer at my gym. Well, I'm pretty much over that. I mean, I've lost a total of 72 pounds doing it my way, I must be doing something right. So I'm good with that. I'm going to keep tracking my food and eating what works for me.
I am still having difficulty seeing my "new" me. I guess I'm so used to being unhappy with what I see in the mirror, it's hard to change that mindset. I am trying though. Today, during my body combat class, I noticed something amazing.... My thighs are not fat, they are muscular. I am SO proud of that!! Then this afternoon, Madilyn and I went shopping. I wanted to try on a skirt. The helpful sales lady asked me what size I needed. I said "oh I don't know for sure probably an 8 or a 10". She said "you are kidding right?! You are easily a size 4" I blushed and explained that I've recently lost a lot of weight and that I'm not used to wearing smaller sizes. Well, I tried on the size 4 and it fit!! This is going to take some time to get used to friends.
Don't get me wrong for a second... I am super proud of my accomplishments and yes, I feel great and I know I look way better than I did at the start of this journey. I just don't feel like I look that good. I don't look in the mirror and see a thin person. I see a smaller than I was before person. I don't know if I will ever be happy with the way I look. I am trying though. Who knows, maybe someday I'll be happy with my reflection. For now, I'm going to continue eating healthy and going to the gym.