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    MOMMY2MADILYN   88,265
80,000-99,999 SparkPoints

It's Official.. I'm having an Identity Crisis!!

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Hello Spark Friends!!
If you read my last blog, you know that I was feeling very confused about food after I met with the personal trainer at my gym. Well, I'm pretty much over that. I mean, I've lost a total of 72 pounds doing it my way, I must be doing something right. So I'm good with that. I'm going to keep tracking my food and eating what works for me.
I am still having difficulty seeing my "new" me. I guess I'm so used to being unhappy with what I see in the mirror, it's hard to change that mindset. I am trying though. Today, during my body combat class, I noticed something amazing.... My thighs are not fat, they are muscular. I am SO proud of that!! Then this afternoon, Madilyn and I went shopping. I wanted to try on a skirt. The helpful sales lady asked me what size I needed. I said "oh I don't know for sure probably an 8 or a 10". She said "you are kidding right?! You are easily a size 4" I blushed and explained that I've recently lost a lot of weight and that I'm not used to wearing smaller sizes. Well, I tried on the size 4 and it fit!! This is going to take some time to get used to friends.
Don't get me wrong for a second... I am super proud of my accomplishments and yes, I feel great and I know I look way better than I did at the start of this journey. I just don't feel like I look that good. I don't look in the mirror and see a thin person. I see a smaller than I was before person. I don't know if I will ever be happy with the way I look. I am trying though. Who knows, maybe someday I'll be happy with my reflection. For now, I'm going to continue eating healthy and going to the gym.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
CLPURNELL 2/11/2013 8:06PM

    emoticon emoticon

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GOODIEB 2/11/2013 12:00PM

    Great work! You should be very proud of all that you accomplished and it may take time to get used to it, but you worked hard to get here so enjoy it!

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STEPHANIE302013 2/11/2013 10:23AM

    woohoo!! great job!

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JENVAMPVEGAS 2/11/2013 1:55AM


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LOVEWY 2/10/2013 9:01PM

    emoticon !!!! I often wonder the same thing about myself, I've spent my whole life not liking who I see in the mirror, will I ever see the changes in myself?

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AJRAGS 2/10/2013 9:01PM

    I have no doubt that you will be able to be proud of the person you see in the mirror! Years of a negative mindset have conditioned you to be unhappy about your appearance. If for nothing else, for your daughter, show her the importance of being happy in the mirror. I read somewhere that forcing yourself to smile will make you a happier person over time. Practice smiling in the mirror, you'll get used to it. It's just a different kind of training than you're used to.

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Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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