Good February 10th to you. As you may have noticed I took a break. I didn't need to, actually things would have been better off had I not. Alas I fell off the wagon and the damned thing ran me over. I have been retired from the military for almost a year now and I must say that I am thoroughly disgusted with myself and the condition that I have allowed myself to get into. My body weight is up to 205 lbs and my BMI is 33.1. I am obese and I have been feeling sorry for myself and telling myself lies. Here is a short list...
- I am working harder than I ever have in my life I need to rest. -B.S. With the new stresses, strains and demands being put on me I need to be in BEAST MODE and working my ass off.
- All the new changes are stressing me so I need to be nice to myself and not add to my stresses. - B.S. Exercise only causes stress if I overdo it starting out, do it wrong and continue to do it wrong or if I just don't do it then bitch about how I look and feel.
- I quit using smokeless tobacco so I will eat more til I get over it completely. - B.S. I quit in August, it is time to get off my ass and put the damned fork down.
Enough is enough. I look like a walrus, I move like I am 90, I get tired from everything but eating and I feel like death. My self image is at an all time low and I am drowning it with alcohol and food. I have heard I need to be nice to myself, well I tried nice and you know what I discovered, about me anyway? F^&k nice, I don't have time for nice.
What I need is to make myself proud.
I don't need more sleep, I need a 2 mile run.
I don't need another plate of food, I need 2 more quarts of water.
I don't need a beer, I need an ab workout that makes me so sore that I lose my appetite.
I don't need to play Facebook games, I need an upper body work out that makes it difficult to type.
I don't need to sit around and relax, I need to bring the pain to my legs til I shake when I am on them.
Less pizza, more salad, less beer, more water, less computer time more home gym time, less all around B.S. time and more quality ME time. So I am back. I am not sure how much of a motivator I will be unless this blog motivates you. I will NEVER put any of you down. All of these harsh words are for me, they are not meant for anyone else. They are from ME to ME. Well folks, here I am and here I go.
Let's do this...