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Confronting Myself


Sunday, February 10, 2013

My name is Emmeline Elizabeth Spencer and in order to escape my own prison sentence I must confront the truths so then I must expose myself. I have been a spectator on my own life for far too long. I was born Sunday on May the 22nd of 1977 inside Buckingham Palace. My father is Charles Philip Arthur George and my mother was Diana Frances Spencer. In 1981 my body guard whom brought me to the United States was James Allcock, Jr.

At age four I was raped, I nearly died. I did not recover emotionally; I was traumatized. I quit talking for a year and then in order to prevent the child molester from not going to prison I testified when twenty-six other children were too afraid to speak out. I buried anything that was special to me on a protection mode. I love my family with everything I have with all my heart.

When my mother died it was my body guard who told me. I had him rope of a lake and I stood in the center of the lake weeping so all my tears would go into the lake. I didn't want anyone to see me hurting so much. I did not attend the funeral and I have never laid my mother's favorite flowers on her head stone which are daffodils. When I was really small on my birthday every year my dad and I started a tradition of giving my mum flowers, my way of thanking her for giving me life. I miss my family and have the desire to be reunited with them. I know this message is as improper as it comes and unconventional. My biggest anxiety has always been the cameras and public. If this is what I have to do to conquer and overcome my own malignancy, than so be it.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JANIGURL 2/13/2013 6:48AM

    Dear Emmeline, you have suffered in your life many times; right from your birth date. I'm torn to hear that you were raped as a child, that is beyond the scope of human comprehension .... why do these things happen? It's a devastating trauma for you I'm quite sure. Your pain is ongoing as I can well imagine the way in which you hurt inside; and exposing the truth is one way of getting rid of horrible past wrongs . Get permission from your father if he will permit you to have your papers etc ; get what you need from him.
I'm so sorry that you are hurting my friend. I am hoping for a miracle for you , ( Hugs)

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Jan

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EMMELINEE3 2/12/2013 11:32AM

    In order to put flowers on my mother's head stone my dad would have to permit this. He has my birth certificate and my pass port.

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NYHARDHAT_1 2/10/2013 8:49AM

    You are off to a good start. Overcoming the past is so hard. It cannot always be done alone. Sounds like you have a wonderful body guard. It also sounds like it's time to put those flowers on your mothers grave and sit there and cry for awhile. Being strong isn't always the answer. Sometimes being strong adds all those stress cracks and over time it just crumbles. Share your pain, confront the past so you can confront the future with a big shinning smile.

hugs,

Cindy

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