This is always where I end up when I haven't had any time out with friends to recharge. The last couple weeks have been hard because of my brother-in-law's situation, and my emotional energy has been all tied up with that. In addition, his lordship here is quite depressed about it all and I've been trying to engage him in meaningful ANYTHING all week. It hasn't helped. When all I do is put out, put out emotional energy on everyone else's behalf, it just makes me spiral into a deep hole. Then I roam the hallway (which is only maybe 18 feet long ), I go up and down two flights of stairs (which, while good for my health, really wears on my knees after awhile) repeatedly, or I try to nap and fail to fall asleep. What I really need is to get out of here, go somewhere with friends, and have a laugh.

Our bffs called today and wanted us to go to dinner, but we're broke. As in the house payment took even the grocery money this week. Now I am doubly depressed. I don't even know why the h*ll I'm writing this. Used to be I could find all kinds of solace when I'd sit down and write in my journal, but lately even that just seems like a chore.

I'm really hoping it's just the winter blues wearing on me here and not a permanent state of affairs.

Despite that, my eating is on target for today. And studying up on my bil's cancer has made me far MORE aware of what I put in my mouth. That's a good thing.

Ok. So THIS took all of five minutes. NOW what do I do? Sigh...