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    WARMSPRINGDAY   54,435
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One Step at a Time

Saturday, February 09, 2013

My life has been a whirl. I've lacked focus on my healthy living - so many things distracting me right now: my Dad's health - 4 surgeries since 12/31/12, and another one still to come; juggling giving and planning care for him along with my daily 180 mile commute; my husband's health, which entails an upcoming surgery and some changes to be made in our house to accommodate his return home, the health issue also creates financial stressors. And somehow, this year, I feel I've just been paralyzed by the cold of winter which creeps into my home and into my bones - it seems so long and cold! I know that I need to take care of myself, but my focus is greatly lacking. I haven't even finalized my 2013 goals.

So many times recently, my family has been faced with decisions and questions. We want to look far into the future and map the plan out for the future like a GPS; but that is not how God is supplying. He is supplying one step at a time. One of our mantras has become a book title, "Just Enough Light For the Step I'm On." It has been a challenge and in all honesty, intensely stressful.

But I realize that my health is important, too; and I need to move forward on this journey. After all, it is just one step at a time.

It is 3:22 am and my brain will not shut off. But tomorrow, I will make at least one healthy choice. I can do that.

I did have a successful 4-day win, and I hoped that would energize, jump start. I need to plan another, and another, and another using turtle steps until I am once again on an upward spiral.

One step at a time.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ME_HERE_NOW 2/13/2013 5:24PM

    sounds like a lot of stuff is going on, and without quiet time before bed where you just disconnect you won't be getting the rest you need. try to work in a warm bath or a good read, some time for you. let your mind wander then if need be, and then hopefully it will be a bit quieter at bedtime! do you listen to music in the car on your commute? i read about a technique from a friend of mine, he says listen to a song from the past when you were happy, whether it is your style of music today or not, it can be from your childhood, your teen years, your early adulthood, a time when you felt free, or powerful, or just joyful. let it take your mind back to those memories and fun times, might help boost your mood in the middle of that long commute! really feeling for you girl and hope things turn a corner soon so you can get a little glimpse of that light up ahead!

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GETSALONG 2/12/2013 2:10PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon keeping you in my t&ps, your dad, your dh, your family... Spark when you can but don't fret it, do what you can, as you can, and take care of my friend, as you can... and we'll look toward living through these things... the best we can... (hugs)

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MTULLY 2/12/2013 11:47AM

    My heart goes out to you and your family. Continue to take each day and do the best you can amid these circumstances. Please know that whatever you are able to do is good enough. emoticon

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-POOKIE- 2/11/2013 2:04PM

    You and your family are in my thoughts x

I'm pleased to hear you say you feel on an upward spiral, no matter how slow it is, its a good thing.

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BEAUTIFUL_REINA 2/10/2013 2:56PM

    My heart goes out to you as you struggle with all these challenges you face. Take care of yourself lest you end up being the one taken care of.

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LINDAF49 2/9/2013 9:49PM

    Thelma, praying praying praying so much for you...I so much remember the 5 years of caring for my Mama ...those decisions, the struggles to cover her home care and the sorting out of physical, mental and health needs... I can only hold on to you and pray for you to delegate as much as possible and take care of you along the way... As you map out Dad's care, map out yours too...I remember writing out my care list...fill up 4 pints of water for every day...eat balanced meals, be in bed minimum of 6 hours a day...not enough but be in YOUR bed for that much minimum ...I took a note pad to bed and if things came to mind, i rolled over, made a note and then back to resting...crying, praying and switched to auditory Bible reading in the car because I just wasn't getting in the WORD...I wet up my vitamins and supplements at the same sitting as setting up Moms; i did some of the exercises with her so I was getting in some gentle stretches, strengthening etc. and I sat and cries with some of the caregivers ...we each one needed that release. Oh how I wish I could help you!. But I pray and encourage the only way i know how...Quiet, gentle hugs.

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LYNDALOVES2HIKE 2/9/2013 8:39PM

    You have gone through so much the past few years and to have this going on with your Dad has got to be tearing you apart with everything else - just know that we are here loving you and small victories are definitely something to celebrate!!

Here's to baby steps, one step at a time!!
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FREELADY 2/9/2013 8:15PM

    Psalm 34:18
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

I have clung to this so many times. You actually sound strong and walking in faith, not broken-hearted, but your heart must be heavy with the challenges you are facing, ALL AT ONCE!! I cannot imagine, but I know the One Who knows all, Who will never leave or forsake you.

In most pressured times, I remember Elisabeth Elliot's dictum, Do the Next Thing. I think you have been doing that. For a long time. It is a sure promise, In due time you shall reap.

You are in my prayers. I'm glad you have such kind friends who are able to write wise things on your blog. I wish I could wrap my arms around you and make things better. At least one day..... no more tears.....

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CAROLFAITHWALKR 2/9/2013 4:18PM

    Wow, 4 surgeries since New Year's Eve. WOW.

I always said you are a much better woman than I, that I could never, in no way, NOT do the 180 miles. And THAT was true when you worked a 4-day week.

On a positive note, I noticed on your page your title of Software Test Analyst - that is a title that should stand you in good stead if you try to find something closer. NO not now; later. Now is not a good time to add any more stress, nor anything new. At least you have the (I believe it's an improved?) job title and experience that goes with it that might make you more marketable, and the exercise help / class / someting at this job; those are positives. Still, you are much better woman than me I could never do that . . .

That you can even DO a 4-day win, and turtling, while juggling all the other, speaks for itself. I don't think when we're in a survival crisis, or severe stress (which your body interprets as a fight for survival), is a time we should try to stretch ourselves in goals. We should still have them - and you do!, and we must always take care of ourselves; but when you are already being stretched due to stress, I say don't pile on, don't add any more optional stress.

As I go through my wilderness experience of extended unemployment, and function at a depth I've never been to before, in sharing my journey with those around me it seems everyone I run into, plus all my old friends, are all going through some heavy-duty, life altering, issue(s). It's really eye-opening I guess I had it super good for a long time and didn't realize it. I had struggles everyday back then of course, and thought, THOUGHT, I had issues. Nothing compared to what I & others like yourself, are going through now.

Remind yourself also, to keep giving it to Jesus. So easy to forget that, during crisis survival mode. We keep trying to do it ourselves and lift the burden ourselves, but He clearly said to cast it on Him. I remind myself of that every single day.
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KITT52 2/9/2013 9:07AM

    praying for you and the family.....

be gentle with yourself...you need it right now...


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FLYINGB16 2/9/2013 8:01AM

    I'm so sorry your family has been dealing with such difficult situations. I wish there was a way we could insulate ourselves from the stress and worry (without using food). Taking care of ourselves is usually the first thing go by the wayside when our family needs us. We just have to remember that we can't help them if we are sick and unhealthy. Taking care of ourselves and nuturing ourselves is not only the right thing to do but it's a gift to our families. We can do so much more to care for them when we are in a good place mentally and physically.

Hugs and prayers coming your way!

Bonnie

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