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    SADDKATT   13,771
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Inching along


Friday, February 08, 2013

So I have adjusted my exercise routine yet again. I had abandoned the 30 Day Shred after 27 days of not shredding anything. I did a couple of weeks of Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism. For the past week I have been alternating days between BFBM and No More Trouble Zones. BFBM is pretty much straight cardio, and NMTZ is strength.

This morning the scale told me that I was one pound lighter, and the tape measure told me that my waist was half an inch smaller. However...it's Friday--Subway Night--so I will probably gain everything back in water retention alone from all the sodium in the buffalo chicken sandwich. Plus I had a couple of handfuls of Special K cracker chips, so I was kind of bad tonight. But I've had an absolutely horrendous week, and I've been burning 500+ calories every time I work out, so guess what? I'm having my little treat. So there.

Work has been absolutely awful. We are in the long, dark part of the school year in between Christmas and Spring break. All my kids are melting down. Lots of anger issues. One student came to school highly over-medicated, and I had to call 911 from my classroom for the first time ever. The staff is all on edge, and there's been lots of snipping and back-biting going on. The autistic ones are edgy and overstimulated (I got groped three different times yesterday alone, and one boy high-fived me so hard that my left hand was swollen for three days). emoticon

I've been coming home dog-tired, sore, and dejected, but I've been exercising anyway, an hour each day (except for taking Wednesday off). I've got a bit of tax refund coming my way, and I only have four pounds left until I can reach my goal of "the first ten pounds" and buy myself a Kindle Fire. I know I'm probably not going to meet my SP goal of losing 20 by March 29. I've been losing and gaining the same five pounds since November. But if I can actually make some progress, that's a step in the right direction.

I know I have some things that are impeding my progress. I have hypothyroid. I'm on two different medications that have side effects of weight gain. I'm hitting middle age. So I guess the fact that my weight hasn't gone up is actually an accomplishment. Logically, I am aware of these things. But it's really discouraging to count every calorie, exercise until I'm stiff and sore, and not see any improvement. It's discouraging to know that just a few years ago I weighed 118, wore a size 6 and now, look at me. Ugh. I can barely face the mirror in the morning.

It's difficult. Everyone around me is eating pizza and burgers and bringing cakes and cookies for general consumption at work. And I sit there with my low-carb turkey wrap and my apple slices and feel really depressed. I eat my plain oatmeal before work and my assistant walks in every day with an egg McMuffin. I know it's all in my head, really. I don't even want an egg McMuffin. Gross. I know I'm improving. I can exercise for a whole hour straight and still be standing at the end of it. I can feel that my leg muscles are stronger. I enjoy the endorphin rush from the exercise. I know my body appreciates sticking to whole foods and avoiding the processed stuff. I don't have quite as much discomfort during certain Times of the Month. So yeah, there are improvements.

It's just going soooo slow.....

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