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How to take a compliment

Friday, February 08, 2013

How do you take a compliment? Do you put your trust in the compliment and believe it? Or do you nay say out-load or in your head? Out loud, I say all the right things, Thank you! You're so sweet! Back at you! I could hear that all day! Thank you for being so supportive. I really appreciate you.

But when I hear a compliment, the nasty judge voice in my head starts bringing up "evidence" that it's not true. Why does the judge want to make me feel bad? Maybe a long time ago, it was just self awareness, keeping me on track. But over time it's become exaggerated to the point of oppression. What I'm doing to counter-act this harsh judgement is to just observe it dispassionately. Not thinking, oh! I've gone and judged myself again, because that's getting into a circular round of judgement for being judgmental. Instead, just thinking : that's interesting, but not necessarily true or helpful. Just be the observer, and question the judgment.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATHEMARIE 2/12/2013 10:39PM

    emoticon emoticon

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JLPEASE 2/11/2013 10:28AM

    I do the same thing. It's hard for some of us to feel worthy.
emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 2/9/2013 1:19PM

    I take compliments at face value and put them in my "goodie box" to enjoy.

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NATPLUMMER 2/9/2013 9:21AM

    I do the same.

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CARRIE1948 2/9/2013 7:43AM

    I almost think this is drummed into our heads as children. Not, perhaps, as much as in cultures where they believe in the evil eye, but it's still there

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CURTIOSITY 2/8/2013 11:05PM

    I have a life-long history of slam-dunking compliments, which is at once rude and self-destructive. About a year ago I began working to change the growing sense of negativity that the self-critic engenders. Re compliments...I started making eye contact with the well-wisher and saying "That makes me feel good" pause, and then "Thank you." I kind of forced myself to feel good, acknowledged the kindness and expressed gratitude, in that order. Unplugging the self-critic takes practice - even training.

If you are at all interested in brain training in relation to self-destructive behavior, Google Amygdala Hijack and read a bit - see what you think.

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MI-ELLKAYBEE 2/8/2013 10:58PM

    A compliment puts a sparkle on a dull day. I love every one of them! It is the only true gift you can give for free.I never received a compliment I didn't want or like. Just enjoy. emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/8/2013 10:58:31 PM

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HDHAWK 2/8/2013 10:40PM

    I have a hard time taking compliments too. I'm working on it. I just don't see myself the way other people do.

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