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How to take a compliment

Friday, February 08, 2013

How do you take a compliment? Do you put your trust in the compliment and believe it? Or do you nay say out-load or in your head? Out loud, I say all the right things, Thank you! You're so sweet! Back at you! I could hear that all day! Thank you for being so supportive. I really appreciate you.

But when I hear a compliment, the nasty judge voice in my head starts bringing up "evidence" that it's not true. Why does the judge want to make me feel bad? Maybe a long time ago, it was just self awareness, keeping me on track. But over time it's become exaggerated to the point of oppression. What I'm doing to counter-act this harsh judgement is to just observe it dispassionately. Not thinking, oh! I've gone and judged myself again, because that's getting into a circular round of judgement for being judgmental. Instead, just thinking : that's interesting, but not necessarily true or helpful. Just be the observer, and question the judgment.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon emoticon
    1709 days ago
    I do the same thing. It's hard for some of us to feel worthy.
    1710 days ago
    I take compliments at face value and put them in my "goodie box" to enjoy.
    1712 days ago
    I do the same.
    1712 days ago
  • CARRIE1948
    I almost think this is drummed into our heads as children. Not, perhaps, as much as in cultures where they believe in the evil eye, but it's still there
    1712 days ago
    I have a life-long history of slam-dunking compliments, which is at once rude and self-destructive. About a year ago I began working to change the growing sense of negativity that the self-critic engenders. Re compliments...I started making eye contact with the well-wisher and saying "That makes me feel good" pause, and then "Thank you." I kind of forced myself to feel good, acknowledged the kindness and expressed gratitude, in that order. Unplugging the self-critic takes practice - even training.

    If you are at all interested in brain training in relation to self-destructive behavior, Google Amygdala Hijack and read a bit - see what you think.
    1712 days ago
    A compliment puts a sparkle on a dull day. I love every one of them! It is the only true gift you can give for free.I never received a compliment I didn't want or like. Just enjoy. emoticon
    1712 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/8/2013 10:58:31 PM
    I have a hard time taking compliments too. I'm working on it. I just don't see myself the way other people do.
    1713 days ago
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