Friday, February 08, 2013
I have always been one of those girls that has had the pretty face but could lose weight to look beautiful. Every time people would give me this "Compliment" slash insult. It only left me feeling less adequate then when our conversation had started.
I have major self esteem issues..go figure. You tell a child that she is fat and ugly her whole life..what else is she suppose to believe?
I really need to get past the negativity it is getting old... I just can't quite figure out how to rid myself of the garbage that is floating around in my head.
What I do know are the facts:
1. I don't want my children to grow up and realize that mom is a nut case.. I rather fix it all now while they still think that I am the Bomb!
2.As much weight as I lose it's never enough to rid me of my love affair with the scale.. I need to break up with it and move on.. and let go of the " oh for old times sake lets just meet up and see where it goes from there... "
3.I hate myself... sad but its the truth. I have never loved myself and this needs to change.
4.I push people away to avoid having to explain why I am so messed up.
So with all this said.. what is fat? who defines it? why is being fat a death sentence?
Yes I am FAT.
Get over it already.