Friday, February 08, 2013
You know how most people have their Ah!Ha! moments when they begin to turn their life around? Well today was that day for me. I was taking a group picture and the woman on the end - me - was unrecognizable. I looked at that picture several times and was like: "that's me!? That's what my neck and chins and face look like? That's what everyone sees?" It was almost heartbreaking because I couldn't say this four years ago.
So what has happened in four years?
Well, my brother, Kevin, died - right in front of me - the day before my 33 birthday. He had been sick a really long time and was in hospice care - he was only 36. Fast forward four years and the realization is Kevin was one year younger than I am now. I felt shame because I HAVE the choice to be healthy and I let myself go.
Excuse me while I stop writing and cry.
Continuing on... My brother dying followed by a year of severe depression inducing a sedentary lifestyle, followed by another year of "snapping out of it" and running/exercising my butt off to lose about half the weight I had gained - followed by a year of hit and miss workouts and a triple stacked schedule then finally followed by another year of basically living to work and VOILA! The results have been a 50+lb weight gain.
I've given EVERY excuse why my diet has been horrible and EVERY - EVERY excuse as to why I don't have time to workout. I'm exhausted just from thinking of another excuse.
That stops today. I know this won't be a quick and easy process. And I don't care! I'm on a mission to get my wardrobe back and to FEEL - deep down into my soul - ALIVE.
Bring. It. On.
My t-shirt says it all!