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No More Excuses

Friday, February 08, 2013

You know how most people have their Ah!Ha! moments when they begin to turn their life around? Well today was that day for me. I was taking a group picture and the woman on the end - me - was unrecognizable. I looked at that picture several times and was like: "that's me!? That's what my neck and chins and face look like? That's what everyone sees?" It was almost heartbreaking because I couldn't say this four years ago.

So what has happened in four years?

Well, my brother, Kevin, died - right in front of me - the day before my 33 birthday. He had been sick a really long time and was in hospice care - he was only 36. Fast forward four years and the realization is Kevin was one year younger than I am now. I felt shame because I HAVE the choice to be healthy and I let myself go.

Excuse me while I stop writing and cry.

Continuing on... My brother dying followed by a year of severe depression inducing a sedentary lifestyle, followed by another year of "snapping out of it" and running/exercising my butt off to lose about half the weight I had gained - followed by a year of hit and miss workouts and a triple stacked schedule then finally followed by another year of basically living to work and VOILA! The results have been a 50+lb weight gain.

I've given EVERY excuse why my diet has been horrible and EVERY - EVERY excuse as to why I don't have time to workout. I'm exhausted just from thinking of another excuse.

That stops today. I know this won't be a quick and easy process. And I don't care! I'm on a mission to get my wardrobe back and to FEEL - deep down into my soul - ALIVE.

Bring. It. On.

My t-shirt says it all!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Welcome!! Glad that you found sparkpeople. It's a great site with lots of supportive people. You can reclaim your life, one behavior at a time!! emoticon emoticon
    1870 days ago
  • LESLEE33
    emoticon I am soo sorry for your loss. Congrats on making the decision to stop making excuses and start taking care of yourself!!! You deserve it. emoticon
    1870 days ago
    I am sorry that you have lost someone close to you HUGS. You are doing so well to self reflect and analyze where your failures are and correct them with a positive can do attitude. Way to go - we are here to support you!
    1870 days ago
    Good for you. I am sorry for what you have been through. And there are no words that will make it all better. But not taking care of yourself wont get you anywhere, except sick.
    And in the midst of stress its often hard for us to do this, but maybe you can get in your mindset that working out will be more therapeutic than anything else. Just imagine getting out there and kicking some butt. Let some tension out. Take out your anger and your pain.
    I wish you nothing but success and best wishes.
    1870 days ago
    Congrats on making the changes you want/need to make to improve yourself. Very inspiring.
    1870 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/8/2013 2:06:14 PM
    Wow! Don't forget it's not just about losing weight, which is one important thing to do, but it is also about alife style change. I found for myself that making small goats that are acheivable works the best for me. As you acheive one goal, you can move on to the next one. Just do baby steps.

    1870 days ago
    Congratulations on making a change in the way you are currently living your life. You can't begin your journey unless you are willing to make a change.

    1870 days ago
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