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Dear self, I'm so sorry!

Friday, February 08, 2013

Oh gosh, I am so sick today. As you all know, I've been excellent all week with my eating and exercise. Well yesterday, one of my best friends came over to hang out. We ran around at the park with my daughter, I even cooked a healthy dinner for us. Then we sat down to have a movie night... she had some chips and I figured I could treat myself to a handful of them, since I've been so on point all week. What a disaster inducing mistake!!!! One handful turned into a couple handfuls... and then a bunch of Hot Cheetos... and then an ice cream bar... and then donuts... and then a half sleeve of girl scout cookies... WHY?! I know that I am human, and to err is human. But I don't understand why I do this to myself. If I slip up a little, I throw it all away and just start eating anything and everything that pops into my greedy mind at the time. I know one bad day won't erase all the good days, and I'm not even really angry at myself for slipping up. I'm more angry because I lose self control when it happens. I get the notion that I can have everything for one day which isn't good. Which brings me to today. Ugh. I woke up very groggy, with a very upset stomach. I choked down breakfast because I know I have to carry on. I talked myself into workout mode. I worked out. Now. I'm valiantly trying to eat my after workout snack which is not wanting to go down very well. I'm so freaking nauseated. I know I still need to eat my meals and snacks and keep pushing through til tomorrow when I will undoubtedly feel better. But the day after a binge is always the worst. That's why im apologizing to myself. I'm so sorry, dear stomach, for making you so upset. I will try my hardest not to do it again.
I'm also sorry that I'm still making you eat right now, because even though its healthy food, I know you feel like throwing it all back up. Please don't. Please be patient and forgiving to my mistakes. I will try harder. Today I will nurse you with light, healthy food, and lots of water. Hopefully tomorrow you will be happier with me.

Side note, the muscles in my legs are firming up. I love the Biggest Loser workouts. I will be a sexy momma by my birthday (November 28)! I'm determined!

Now excuse me while I gag down the rest of my yogurt and then go grocery shopping before work.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    We all fall down sometimes, pick yourself and keep going.
    1862 days ago
  • LISAN0415
    I learned about myself, and I have seen many Sparkpeople have said the same thing, that I have (and others) "trigger Foods"

    Trigger foods are foods once I eat a little, it "Triggers" me to eat more, to over indulge, overeat.. lose some control.

    There are certain foods I have great difficulty eating just a small amount of- Like for me it's pizza, Tortilla chips, cookies, cupcakes and cake- so for me the best defense is not to even take 1 bite.

    Now, I learned NOT to tell myself "I can't have that"- that would make me feel deprived, and possibly want it more, instead, I tell myself, "I could eat that, but I choose not to, I CHOOSE something better for myself"

    Remember, we all stumble on this journey, the most important thing is to get right back up, and get back on the path of this healthy lifestyle journey- and keep walking towards your goal!

    Best wishes,
    1865 days ago
    im the same way. once I start I cant stop. the best thing for me is to try to stay away but I cant even do that. emoticon
    1865 days ago
  • 81MSMITH1
    It is amazing how quickly one handful can turn into two and so on. I have done the exact same thing on numerous occasions. However, the important thing is doing what you did the next day, getting back on track and not letting it get you down.
    1865 days ago
  • MARIANNE9855
    everyone has slip ups- I know what is helping me now- is I am purposely staying away from trigger situations- even fast food signs. And I plan exactly what I am going to eat- I know it is a drag but at least for me- that's the way I will be able to stay healthy. I also think its hard when you are with other people who don't have the same commitment you do- I am thinking maybe she brought some of the junk with her? emoticon
    1865 days ago
    I am soooooo much like you in this aspect. when I start eating junk...it's like i cannot stop until I am so full, I cannot eat another bite. emoticon

    it happens. I had 2 bad days last weekend that I did this same thing and I still lost weight this week...some how. Just get back on track and don't punish yourself.
    1865 days ago
    I second healthy options for move night. Frozen yogurt, fruit or veggies with greek yogurt dip (homemade is best just mix a pack of ranch seasoning in with the yogurt for veggies and honey, vanilla, or strawberry flavored for fruit.), fruit pizza, homemade fruit smoothies or milkshakes, possibly 1 of those 100 calorie packs of cookies and hide the rest of the box or portion your own chips and cookies out into 1 serving pouches so you won't grab more when it's gone. Even air popped popcorn would be ok, as long as its not loaded down with butter. Maybe if you have a tasty and healthy treat to eat you won't feel as inclined to go for the junk food. Congrats on realizing it's not the end of the world and pushing on. I hope you feel better today!
    1865 days ago
    Everybody has done that at one time or another and like you jumps right back on the horse!
    1865 days ago
    emoticon Great Response to your Binge. Treating it as a Learning Experience is Terrific!! Maybe on Movie Night make a Rule of Only Healthy Snacks being available? You can eat a TON of Baby Carrots, Grapes, Apple Slices, Celery Sticks, and the like.

    emoticon emoticon Drink Up and Celebrate the fact that Feeling Sick after a Binge like that is actually a Sign of Progress!!
    1865 days ago
    Glad you're letting yourself know that, yeah, you might have screwed up, but it ain't the end of the world. Little steps to building that strong foundation where you won't get knocked off the path by minor setbacks.

    As for the binge itself, well, next time you get tempted to go to town, remember what your stomach feels like right now. Keep that bit of misery tucked away in the back of your mind. It doesn't mean you can't have the cheetos. Just means you can't lead with chips and chase with gs cookies (and all that other yummy crap), or you'll face tummy rebellion again.
    1865 days ago
    I would stop movie nights till I could trust myself! Do an activity that you know will make you a winner! emoticon
    1865 days ago
    Don't be so hard on yourself. Just take a deep breath and start over today. It does get easier to make healthy choices!

    1865 days ago
    The wonderful thing is that you are now accustomed to eating healthy that your body will signal when something is wrong. Fantastic!
    1865 days ago
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