Friday, February 08, 2013
I had some (crippling) nausea yesterday. Bad enough to send me home from work. It's not a big concern; I have a history of ulcers. But this morning - when it hit again - my fiancÚ suggested that it might be because I'm cutting too many calories.
I really don't think that's the case. I'm following my Lose It! plan. I'm not hungry all day, I'm never starving, and I'm getting plenty of nutrients. I did decide to switch my usual lunch - oatmeal - and my breakfast smoothie, because maybe not having solid food in my stomach till after noon isn't the best idea. Besides, he thinks I just WANT to lose weight; he doesn't get that I'm at an UNHEALTHY weight and that even my doctor is in favor of weight loss.
But the usual cause of my ulcers is stress.
I haven't been stressed about my weight, because I've been losing steadily. I have, however, been obsessed with it. I log everything. I log what I plan to have for dinner so I can budget for lunch. If I eat a single piece of candy, I log it. I log the splash of half and half in my coffee.
Tonight I've got a dinner-and-margaritas date with a friend. At Applebee's. So all week I've been checking calories of things I want to eat, trying to figure out how much time I have to exercise today and this weekend, basically scrambling to NOT have to eat a salad but also stay under calorie budget.
You know what? Screw it. This ONE meal, I'm going to eat what I want. WHATEVER I want. The world will not come to an end if I have to order my wedding dress a week later than planned. National security is not at stake if I don't hit my goal weight on my goal day. I eat healthy, I exercise, and I have earned the night off!