Feeling but not seeing...
Friday, February 08, 2013
It's been a good week. I'm finishing up my 7th since I started trying to behave, my 3rd truly active week. The water workouts are awesome. I found my stroke faster than I thought I would. I still choke on the water from time to time but considering I was never a great lap swimmer, I'm happy with my progress. Water aerobics and the current loop are great additions to the laps. I'm loving it so much I'm going to try to get there 3 times per week instead of the 2 I swore I'd do if I signed up.
I've hit the track to walk at the gym a couple times too but overdid it Tuesday. It may still be too much to work all day and get any sort of impact workout in the evening. My abs are cramping regularly. Between the swimming, the exercise ball and standing at my computer they aren't getting much rest. I'm coping though and will keep searching for a level that works for my current abilities. At least it's been over a week since I came home and fell asleep. That bodes well for my increasing energy level.
I'm starting to feel strong and capable. I still have a lot of weight to lose before I look the part, though. The thing I find about being really obese is that I can put on 30-40 pounds and it isn't terribly obvious so people don't stare or comment much. On the down side, when you lose 30-40 lbs, people don't notice either. Even I have trouble seeing it.
I know that it WILL happen if I stick with this plan. I'm coming to terms with the possibility that I might miss my big goal but still have an argument for skipping surgery. If I lose 80 lbs in 18 months instead of 100, and if that loss is fairly consistent from week to week, then I'm not really a surgical candidate. Especially if I build muscle. I've never gone 18 months straight not gaining weight so that would truly be winning a big battle. I can see that when I make myself think about it rationally and not dream about what could be if the stars align and everything goes perfectly. I may be better off focusing on consistency than a weight loss goal.
One of the things I CAN see is that I'm a nicer person when I eat well and exercise. Even on my low energy days I can find a smile faster. I am getting more done around the house. I am seeing higher numbers on my trackers. I am seeing signs of success when I look in the right places. I need to hang onto those.