What an exhilarating week...and then I blew it in 2 days
Friday, February 08, 2013
Where do I begin? I have been doing so well tracking and working out, staying within my calorie range, etc and then the stress of having my very first published article kicked in hard. I got it turned in, edited and squeaked in before the deadline. But I did pay a heavy price I didn't take the time to think about what I was eating and when it was just eat and go. Uh, haven't we been down this road before?!?!? Like just in the last couple of weeks? Still struggling with this whole nutrition thing. Very frustrating to say the least. I know what I should be doing but for some reason what I should be doing and what I am doing are 2 totally different ideas that don't seem to line up. Time to get back up and jump right back on the wagon. It didn't help that Monday I woke up with a sharp pain in the arch of my right foot that bothered me for majority of the week as well.
I have also noticed that the more I fight this battle the lazier my husband becomes. I would love to institute a rule that for a certain number of hours a day the TV cannot be on in our home. It seems like that darn thing never gets turned off! It's rubbing off on my son and not in a good way. I know the weather has not been very cooperative lately but come on. Take the child outside to at least ride his bike for awhile but I'm the only one who will do that. I can't tell you how many times I have come home and my husband is sound asleep at 3:30-4:00 in the afternoon and my 5 year old is just kinda hanging out in his room. I know that if someone tried to come in my dogs would protect him, we own 2 boxers that are very protective of him, but that's not the point. I go to class all day on Mondays and Wednesdays with a very short break between classes that don't even justify running home alot of times. When I do get home most of the time the dishes are still in the sink dirty and the kiddo needs to be tended to but there he is sound asleep. He even watches TV on his smartphone at night that's how addicted he is to the television! I know I am ranting here but it feels good to get it out. I know he isn't Suzy housekeeper and he isn't me so his standards of clean and mine are different but I would appreciate a little help every once in awhile. It's exhausting after being in class all day, working out at the fitness center for a minimum of a hour a day, and then coming home to take care of my home and family(dogs included). I have often thought about divorcing him but I don't want to be divorced twice but I'm going to lose my freaking mind if something doesn't change soon. I hardly have any time to do my homework because I am always being mommy, chef, housekeeper and trying to find the time to workout and eat correctly. I don't know what to do.
Member Comments About This Blog Post
Keep the faith, kiddo! And don't be shy about instituting TV rules. We never have the TV on during the day. I usually have some sort of music on, but TV is just a distraction.
1477 days ago
If you have moments when you need to "eat and go" it's always good to have a game plan prior to these moments. And what I mean by that is have a "I don't have enough time to plan" plan. No matter what the situation, provide yourself with some emergency alternatives before the emergency happens so that you can go, "Oh, i have this on standby" and you can get out the door and go.
When days like that happen, having full 3 meals a day is better shifted to 5 mini meals a day or as I like to call continuous snacking. Your car, your purse, your desk, anything that is a bag/compartment/free space. The kitchen should never be your only place to find nutrition. Have healthy non-perishables in areas you can access. Carry a banana/apple or some fruit with you in your purse along with some nuts. These are also great snacks to have anyways in case you're out at the park and your little one gets a little hungry.
If you're able to catch a moment, take some time on your days off to experiment with "fast" recipes that are healthy to help cut down on meal prep time. Repeat at least 3-5 recipes once a week.
It's hard to force a new habit into your child's life, but perhaps finding some active indoor activities too will help your child focus on physical activities without having to wait for you to come home.
In regards to your husband, does he know how you feel about this? Is he actively participating in your goals to get healthier? Does he understand that you're worried about your son's level of exercise throughout the day?
I would recommend telling him how you feel. And not during a moment of frustration such as, "Why are you not doing this!?" etc. Ask him if both of you can sit down and talk. Try to approach it with a concerned, yet positive attitude. Don't direct him as being the problem, but health as being the problem. Focus on your son and your desire to be healthier yourself. Make the open request for him to actively spend at least 15-30 minutes every day or every other day playing outside with his son. (A father should not feel the need to complain about spending time with his own children. If he does, for shame.) If he's using the excuse of being tired all of the time, counter with facts, knowledge. Regular exercise (does not have to be vigorous) will increase your energy and fight off fatigue. It also puts you in a happier mood and reduces stress levels. If stress is a major issue, this is a great excuse to get him outside of the house. If the tv is that heavily ingrained, start slowly. You can also suggest indoor activities that keep them moving, perhaps a hobby project like constructing a simple model or finding a cool science project for kids online. Early age is the best time to teach children fundamentals, there might be something your husband can teach him that he has not considered attempting before.
My biggest tip when talking to your husband, don't cut off any activity cold turkey! Instead of taking something away, incorporate something healthy into the daily routine. So he likes tv. Does he have favourite tv shows? What days do they air? Try to work around the shows he really loves to watch. Sometimes, you can take the interests of TV shows and shift them to fun activities to teach your son. Example: Gold Rush. Awesome show. If the child knows the father watches it, there might be unspoken interest. Check out some gold panning techniques on the internet and stage a "gold rush" maybe find some gold glitter or pyrite and mix it in some dirt. Have the child pan for some gold. It's a fun piece of history and something for the father to teach the child.
Also, perhaps ease in a request for him to do something after he comes home. Start up a chart on the wall somewhere that everyone can see. Front door, kitchen, living room, where ever. Admittedly, we all forget things sometimes. Having that reminder might help, especially in the beginning. Request him to take out the trash once a week, request him to put the dishes in the dishwasher on weekends. Build it up over time to create a new, healthy habit.
I understand that you have to learn to accept your husband for whom he is, but that is in regards to morals, values, more deeply ingrained personality traits. Most of what you speak of is a long line of unhealthy habits. Making him fully aware without sounding whiny or angry can put things in a positive step forward. These are changes he will need to consider. If he makes no effort (especially those regarding your son), you'll have some more important questions to answer in regard to yourself and quite possibly your relationship. But for the most part, it just sounds like he can be a stubborn person. If he is, you cannot change that; however, stubborn people just require longer exposure to another person's patience and perseverance.
Anyways, I hope this cheers you up a little bit. Don't let it all get you down. And on a side note, don't deny yourself the occasional treat! In those snacks I described for "on the go", add a few snack size bites of chocolate. Maybe a little piece of candy. And always keeps a list of "healthier" fast food/restaurant options around. Either on your phone, in your day planner, or in your car. That way, you won't have to stop and think, you'll know where you can and should go to get food without feeling as guilty.
1478 days ago
Comment edited on: 2/8/2013 12:56:26 PM
I'm going to say this as gently, but succinctly as I can... Accept your husband for who he is or move on. I'm sure he has many good qualities so maybe it'll help to remind yourself of those rather than wishing he were different. Other than that, accept that it's up to you to ensure that your child is being raised in the way you want. Maybe that means putting him in an after school play group. In any case, even though I don't know you, I truly want the best for you and I don't believe simply wishing your husband or circumstances were different is going to help you create the life you want. I hope you will take this with spirit of care and concern in which it was meant.
1479 days ago
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