Thursday, February 07, 2013
I just began my weight loss journey a week ago and my husband is deploying in two weeks. For the past two years we've tried to get pregnant and each year I became pregnant only to miscarry and have an ectopic pregnancy. These past two years, I've put on a solid thirty extra pounds (20 of those pounds since my ectopic ordeal in August) due to the depression of losing two babies. I'm thirty-one now...and if I wait until he returns to try again, I will be 33 and pregnant. Did I also mention I'm a type I diabetic.
I'm not sure what to do. So much of me wants to work on me. To accomplish my goal of being healthy and getting into shape - in return maybe increase my chance of having a successful pregnancy. But then there's this voice in my head, for the past three years telling me I desperately want to have a child. That I don't want to risk the chance of more complications by waiting even longer to try.
I can honestly say I don't know what to do. My husband supports me either way, but wishes we'd wait so that he will be here throughout my pregnancy. So my biggest obstacle is me, as always. If only I could tell my heart that by taking care of myself and losing the weight can only be a positive in the long run.
Sorry for the vent...just questioning what I want more right now...