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lose weight or get pregnant

Thursday, February 07, 2013

I just began my weight loss journey a week ago and my husband is deploying in two weeks. For the past two years we've tried to get pregnant and each year I became pregnant only to miscarry and have an ectopic pregnancy. These past two years, I've put on a solid thirty extra pounds (20 of those pounds since my ectopic ordeal in August) due to the depression of losing two babies. I'm thirty-one now...and if I wait until he returns to try again, I will be 33 and pregnant. Did I also mention I'm a type I diabetic.

I'm not sure what to do. So much of me wants to work on me. To accomplish my goal of being healthy and getting into shape - in return maybe increase my chance of having a successful pregnancy. But then there's this voice in my head, for the past three years telling me I desperately want to have a child. That I don't want to risk the chance of more complications by waiting even longer to try.

I can honestly say I don't know what to do. My husband supports me either way, but wishes we'd wait so that he will be here throughout my pregnancy. So my biggest obstacle is me, as always. If only I could tell my heart that by taking care of myself and losing the weight can only be a positive in the long run.

Sorry for the vent...just questioning what I want more right now...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I too have crumbled in public seeing a family...Throughout both times, I had to see my husband's sisters welcome babies. It was so hard, even though I was so happy for them, it tore me apart. I totally understand waiting for my husband to return and try then. I've gone through a lot of tests to find out what is wrong with me...and all came back that I was perfectly able to conceive. My doctor said losing weight could help so I'm working on that.

    My husband is the type where "if it happens, it happens". He doesn't want to avoid trying to get pregnant nor does he want me to put my ovulation dates on the calender :) We both agree to not stress about it and just make the most of the time we have left together.

    Thank you for your insight; it means a lot to me!
    1835 days ago
    I can not imagine going through two miscarriages. My heart goes out to you and props for being so strong and upbeat! I myself have not had a miscarriage, but am 30 years old and have not been able to conceive and now we are waiting because of money issues (my husbands 41 btw)

    With that said, I totally understand the desire to conceive and have a child. Sometimes it can be so strong it literally hurts (ive actually began to sob in public merely seeing a husband and wife with their new baby, lame, I know) but I couldnt imagine going through the joys and trials of a pregnancy with out my husband there. I know that it is an experience he really would want to share as well, from what I hear, its something very special to share with your spouse (the good AND the bad!). My husband's frist wife conceived just before he was deployed, and had his son three months before he returned to the states. He said it was the most surreal experience, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he comes home to a baby that is his after not being around to see it grow or see him born.

    For me, I would want my hubby there with me, to share in the joy and experience of pregnancy and child brith. As hard as it would be to continue waiting, I would take the time to make myself healthier for a fitter, sucessful pregnancy (numerous studies show a healthy BMI makes conceiving, carrying, birth and recovery so much easier and less stressful on both mom and baby). This may not be the right way for you, but hopefully everyones insights here will help your heart decide.

    Good luck and hugs!
    1835 days ago
  • B-NANA
    Having your husband there to help you through the "joys" of pregnancy is a big plus. Being fit and able to jump into his waiting arms is great too.
    Either way you decide, you need to understand he will always love you.
    1840 days ago
  • JOYOUS1917
    We can always eat healthy and get pregnant! Try not to worry about the weight and just eat nutritious, balanced meals and snacks. Do we really need a giant bowl of nachos to get pregnant? Relax. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1840 days ago
    I'm sorry you have had such a hard tries ): *hugs* Losing weight typically helps with fertility problems and having a healthier pregnancy, plus having your husband there IS a major plus. It'll be a great bonding experience for you AND for him. He will love a child no matter what, but being involved in the pregnancy will make it more "his." It won't be "My wife back home is pregnant" but rather "We are pregnant!" Also, what happens if you have another miscarriage and he isn't there to support you through it? Undoubtedly he will do his best to be there for you, but if he's deployed, he can't hold you during those nights that the sadness of it creeps back up.

    I will not tell you what is RIGHT for you, but in my humble opinion, I'd say wait. It will help you with your own health- from the physical weight lossy side to the emotional/personal growth side (like learning to be more patient!), all good things to do before you have a little one who relies on you.
    1840 days ago
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