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Subliminal Sabotage... hmmm... I wonder??

Thursday, February 07, 2013

It's been 1 year since I posted any entries on this blog. I have wasted an entire year losing and gaining the same 15 pounds back at least 3 times. Ugh! That makes me sooo mad!

I wonder sometimes if I have this subliminal thing going on somewhere in the back of my head... that blocks me from achieving my weight loss goal. I lose 10 pounds, then gain it back, lose 15 and gain it back... I wonder if I just feel I don't deserve to be proud of myself?

That I don't deserve to look and feel better?
That I don't deserve to be THAT happy?
That if I got down to a healthy weight and could actually be pain free... that I wouldn't deserve it?

I wonder if I just sabotage myself subliminally ...hmmm??? I know I shouldn't. But, that doesn't stop me.

Just wondering if anyone else has felt this way??

Anyway, I got on the scale yesterday and my eyes about fell out of my head. I weighed the most I've EVER weighed. I was ashamed. I can't believe I can't just get myself together and DO THIS! I have this vision of me, having lost all the weight standing in Ireland on my fiftieth birthday. My RE-Birthday. Feeling proud and happy and taking it all in.

So, I need to figure out how NOT to sabotage myself, to see each day as a blessing and use it to be the BEST ME ever! Uh... I better do it pretty quick, too. I've only got 8 months left until I'm 50. (That can't be!!)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I think some of it is that our bodies are used to maintaining a certain weight so when we lose, the body gives us those hungry signals because it doesn't want us to get smaller, it wants us to maintain. So I think it takes a lot of extra determination and will power to make it come off and stay off. I've been maintaining for quite a long time now and decided that now is the time to take it down a little. I did great the first 2 days, I've been starving since. I'm going to have to fill up more with more veggies. I need to get it planned out better and be prepared for the hunger attacks. Good luck to you! I know you can do it!!!
    1714 days ago
  • STARL_73
    Yes, I have definitely felt that I've sabotaged myself. It's a subject I've gone on over and over in my head, trying to figure out why I would want to sabotage myself.
    Did I feel I didn't deserve my goal?
    Did I think my husband would leave me? (yeah, that's a crazy one for me)
    Was I scared??? What would I do when I succeed? What would I be? I've been working on this for so long...
    So, thought 1 - do I deserve good things??? Part of me said no. Then I thought about all the good things that are in my life and i realized I must deserve good things because I've already received some!
    #2 - I actually thought about that one for awhile. Decided no
    #3 - yes!!! I am scared! I just don't know why.

    The main thing is - identify there's an issue. When you identify something, you can begin taking control of it. It takes time, but eventually, when you're leaning towards the choice that goes against your goal, you'll remember the issue you've identified and it can help you lean toward the choice you really want. Blogging does help. It can be scary baring yourself - but as you can see, you are NOT alone!!!
    1716 days ago
  • DAISY443
    I'm not going to give the usual platitude that you are worth it! I'm going to tell you that we are all human, that our addiction to food is real, that it is a very hard battle to win and that,even more than our weight, we need to be concerned with our health, physical and mental. We cannot be mentally healthy if we are continually beating ourselves up over our weight. What we can do is, exercise, eat healthy foods and do the best we can to love, live and laugh. If we do these things, I hope the weight will come off! I continually need to remind myself of these things!
    PS I am glad to see you back!
    1716 days ago
  • MAGA99
    emoticon emoticon
    1716 days ago
    I too do the same thing....I get to my goal and I tend to not work as hard...then I get mad cuz I don't understand why I can't eat, and drink the same as my peeps.... So I guess this is who we are emoticon
    1716 days ago
  • CAROL494
    I've experienced the same thing. I'm starting over again. We CAN do it this time! emoticon emoticon
    1716 days ago
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