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    JANEMITCHELL12   23,976
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Why am I letting a nasty person control my eating?

Thursday, February 07, 2013

The other day my dieting buddy said to me, "I had to swallow a comeback to that person." I said, "And we do that literally! Eating when someone upsets or stresses us."
I have a job where I have to be nice to a few people who feel it is their right to be nasty.
Yesterday one of those people made me so mad, that I came home and binged. Not as badly as the past, but bad enough.
Then I suddenly asked myself. Why am I letting this nasty person control my eating?
I am actually working on a "solution" to this person, why let them control me in the eating department?
I have been reading a lot of Sparkpeople motivation and tips and techniques. They will help me.
Step one, Mindful eating. Stopping before I eat to figure out why I want to eat. Is it because I'm hungry or something else.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALIHIKES 2/7/2013 12:35PM

    I occasionally have to deal with very unpleasant people in my work also. I have come to realize that often the most angry and volatile people are mentally ill and out of control. I have tried to treat them with more compassion and not let them manipulate me. Like many of us, I am tempted to overeat or eat the wrong foods when I am upset. I find it helps to take a break, slow down, and have a cup of coffee instead.

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MSGO72 2/7/2013 12:27PM

  I wish you the best as you try to navigate this very trying issue!
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DIET_FRIEND 2/7/2013 12:03PM

    When I worked, I allowed things happening on the job to stress me out. It's good to be aware of what is a stressor and find a healthy way to cope.

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JENNA3 2/7/2013 11:58AM

    It's great that you recognized what's going on with your eating. Keep a journal handy and when you're about to eat-write first. Ask yourself- am I hungry? How do I feel? That sort of thing. I find when I journal first, I'm better able to make an informed decision about if I want to eat and what.

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AZURE-SKY 2/7/2013 11:51AM

  Good for you!

One thing to remember is that when someone is nasty or mean to you, they don't see you go home and binge, or cry, or any other reactions. So, the only one who knows how upset you are is you. Your reaction has absolutely no impact on that person, so you aren't punishing them, you are punishing yourself for THEIR bad behavior. You cannot control their behaviors, you can only control your reaction to them.

They most likely make themselves feel better when they belittle someone else because they have low self-esteem. Most bullies suffer from low self-esteem, or were bullied when they were young, and don't know any better.

Instead of reacting with hurt when they mistreat you, turn it around, and feel sorry for them - because they don't know how to have a normal, non-confrontational relationship with people.

Years ago, a close friend of mine was having really bad marital problems. Her husband was cheating on her, and he was physically abusive as well. At one point, she mentioned that she wanted to kill herself because she was so unhappy, and because she thought he would feel guilty if she did. As she was talking it out, she realized that if she killed herself, she would be setting him free to do as he pleased, so it wouldn't be punishing him at all. She saw a professional therapist, worked through her emotional problems, divorced him and started a new life. A few years later she met a wonderful man. Now, 30+ years later, she's a happily married woman with children and grandchildren.

If that person is mean to you, he/she is most likely nasty to others as well. So, while they think they are great and powerful, everyone who has contact with them knows how nasty they really are. So, that mean person is only fooling him/herself.

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JANEMITCHELL12 2/7/2013 11:47AM

    Thanks for the tip about the mindful eating challenge. Off to sign up!

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BRENDAGAIL9 2/7/2013 11:44AM

    I have never been a stress eater. I am just the opposite, I don't eat when I get stressed.

People don't make you mad, you make yourself mad. You may not like what they do or say but the only person you have control of is yourself.

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155HEREICOME 2/7/2013 11:43AM

    I'm sorry, about the people around you. I do the same thing, when, someone bothers me, and I can't do anything about it. I turn to food. Well, they have abused you, and then to eat on top of it, then we are abusing ourselves further. I have a hard time with confrontation, and out of control situations, I have to figure something else out. I have been trying, to sit down, go to God in my pain, tell him about it, and let him comfort me. Instead of me trying to comfort myself, which I am not by stuffing my face. It was usually, in the form of ice cream, standing at the stove, and just eating it, out of the carton, and before I know it, I have eaten half the gallon. Ouch! Anyways, the first step, is recognizing it. Also, if your interested, you mentioned, the mindful eating, I just discovered, the Mindful eating challenge on Spark, today is my 1st day. Have a great day. Its not what your eating, its whats eating you. emoticon

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BEVENH 2/7/2013 11:38AM

    I hope you are successful in overcoming that darn stress. It does effect all of us. Good luck on your journey.

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