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febrary goals and jokes

Thursday, February 07, 2013

Here are my goals for feb
1 no chip, no m&m no peanut butter or a small amount in my my smothies or on my oatmeal less than a teaspoon, no more than 2 cracker at a time
2 it was suggest 1000 min of exercise for a month I am going for 1500
3 somewhere between 10 and 14 glasses of water a day
4 my prayers to God everyday
5 I lost 6 pounds last month in a bad month so I can think I can do 6 again but would be happy with 5
6 I walk 45 miles last month what include walking video, outside walks, walking and running outside the house stair walking. And my be love treadmill this months I am going for 50
7 lose another inch in my stomach
8 help put on a great ash Wednesday meal for church
9 find three positivse things a day and post them somewhere
10 be a good team leader for the cats in the 5% challenge and a good friend to all my coach kryitie team
11 listen to my coach and do her exercises
Hiring a Fitness Coach
Hiring a good fitness coach can be a challenge, but it's not hard to tell if you've hired the wrong one. Look for these signs. If any of them are true about your fitness coach, you've definitely hired the wrong one.
10. He insists a bag of Doritos is necessary for doing crunches.
9. After you explain your fitness goals, exclaims, "Oh, you meant physical fitness!"
8.Has designed a special resistance machine to train your "love muscle."
7. His business card states he works for "Belly Total Fatness," and those aren't typos.
6. He can't seem to compliment your progress without adding "...for a fat guy."
5. Occasionally says something like, "What do you say we cut this set short and you help me polish off this box of jelly-filleds?"
4. His stamina training involves you jogging to the package store and toting back a case of Bud Light.
3. Uses a McDonald's cheeseburger wrapper as a bookmark in the training manual.
2. Makes a beeping noise like a truck backing up every time you walk across the room.
And the Number 1 reason...
1. Has a workout regimen that involves you pushing him and his out-of-gas car around town so he can run errands.

Ten Excellent and Funny Thoughts About Walking
1. Walking 20 minutes can add hours to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $8000 per month.
2. My grandfather started walking five miles a day when he was 60.........................Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.
3. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
4. I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
5. I joined a health club last year, spent about 450 dollars. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
6. Every time I hear the dirty word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
7. I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
8. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a very small country.
9. I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years....................just getting over the hill.
10. Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a "Happy Hour" and by the time I leave, I think I look just fine.
You could walk this over to your friends but it's less hassle to just e-mail it to them.
Will wanted to include this last quote: I don't jog............. it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
Amusing and Funny Fitness Tales and Jokes
This story is allegedly true, and is about one of the finest athletes Will and Guy have ever seen: Michael Johnson.
Apparently the Olympic gold medal runner was on his way to a night club with some friends. At the door, the bouncer turned to him and said, 'Sorry, mate, you can't come in here, no denim allowed.'
Michael was quite upset at this and retorted, 'Don't you know who I am? I'm Michael Johnson.' 'Then it won't take you long to run home and change, will it?' concluded the bouncer with finality.
Repartee Take 2
John, a regular runner, asks his wife, Jayne, 'What do you love most about me? My tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect?' 'What I love most about you,' responded Jayne quickly, 'is your enormous sense of humour.'
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