Thursday, February 07, 2013
I took the advice of my wonderful fellow sparkers out there, and decided to stop myself from backsliding. I know I can do this. I looked at my own quote: "The longer you stay down, the heavier your burden will be when you decide to pick yourself back up." and I decided that I'd rather pick myself up before I could gain any weight. I'm glad I did. I set up a short term goal to lose 14 pounds by March 26th, and I'm pretty sure so long as I continue working hard, and stay within range, I can do it. Once I get there, I feel like the new weight loss will further motivate me. I guess I just felt discouraged because I'd been stuck between 242-258 all of 2012. I'm so sick of that range, but it seemed as though my body didn't want to get below 242. I guess it was more my mind didn't want me to get below 242.
I had two exams on Monday. One for my Statistics class, and one for my Spanish class. I got a C on my statistics test, and an A on my Spanish test. Considering the fact that the Statistics class is actually very challenging, and involves math, I'm quite happy. I was honestly thinking I was going to get a D or worse. I'm also not worried because I've been getting 100% on all of my homework assignments. The grade for my Spanish test came as a pleasant surprise because I completed it in 30 minutes.
I am also happy that the weather is getting better. It seriously felt like Spring today, and I really hope that the weather continues to get better. I wish I could move back to California...
I still believe that how I look doesn't matter as much as how I feel, but if I want to look cute, and dress in clothes that I like, then why shouldn't I? I am doing this for me. I'm young now, and I should enjoy it while I can. I have come so far from the 330 pounds that I was. I should enjoy myself. I think that dressing nice and paying more attention to my appearance will boost my self esteem. In turn, it'll probably keep me motivated. Sure, right now I don't have a lot of money for cute clothes, but I'm not going to be this poor forever (I hope!), and when I do finally have a solid income, I'm going to wish that I kept going. That's actually something my mom pointed out. I was complaining because I live in a small town, and don't get out much, so what's the point of dressing nice, and in turn, what's the point of continuing this journey....kind of a stupid line of thinking but I guess part of this also is in part because I feel like I'm in such an in-between time in my life.
I've just gotta keep going. If anything, it will help me get through this weird part of my life that I'm sure I'll look back on fondly when I've established myself in a stable career. I was just so frustrated, and to be honest, I'm SO sick of college! Sure, the free time in between classes is great, and that gives me even more time to exercise-and less reasons to make excuses NOT to follow a healthy lifestyle, but it's starting to get old. Weight loss is like college. You invest time and effort into something that isn't instant gratification. There's a delayed reward. I just have to be patient and work hard to succeed with both. That's definitely explains it. At least with a job, there's a paycheck to show for it every 2 weeks or so, but with college and weight loss, it can take years to finish. No instant gratification here, but there will be bigger rewards for waiting.