In a Podiatrist's Office
"Time wounds all heels"

On the back of a Septic Tank Truck
"Caution - This truck is full of Political Promises"

At a Proctologist's Office
"To expedite your visit, please back in."

At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what your looking for,
you've come to the right place."

On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

At a Towing Company:
"We don't charge and arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire
and take appropriate action."

On a Maternity Room Door:
"Push. Push. Push."

On a Taxidermist's window;
"We really know our stuff."

On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet-
miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry;
come in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP
"Best place in town to take a leak."