Wednesday, February 06, 2013
I'm so bloody sick of tripping myself up.. I start the day with so much motivation and by the end I've trebled my calorie ranges! I could just scream at myself.. WHY! WHY! WHY!
It's almost like someone else steps into my body and takes over! I can see myself doing it but seem completely powerless to stop it! I know I'm not, I know I can stop it but I'm not then ten minutes after my binge I'm feeling guilty as hell wondering why I just ate my own body weight in crap!!!!!
It hasn't helped this last week that mother nature decided to welcome herself back into my life.. I've had some problems and lets just say she decided to reappear, which explains my moody behaviour and rubbish attitude.. but it's also brought along an intense craving for anything chocolate! I DON'T EVEN LIKE CHOCOLATE!
But oh well.. as my title says I have drawn the line, I am now actively going to take control of my actions. I've spent the majority of today applying for jobs.. I need the change and a fresh challenge. Tomorrow I will be staying active, to avoid my nasty cravings and binges I'm going to carry around my cherry concentrate juice (a juice that helps aid the pain in my knees).. it's not overly sweet but it's good for me and makes sure I get my fluid intake in AND today it curbed my sweet cravings.. Worth a try!
Tonight I have sat and watched my way through 3 episodes of the biggest loser.. it gave me the kick up the backside I have needed! Watching people struggle through the workouts made me realise I'm alot more capable than I allow myself to think! I'm just lazy!
I WILL TURN THIS AROUND.
I AM CAPABLE.