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JLDACQ
150,000-199,999 SparkPoints 156,314
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Not one of my better days

Wednesday, February 06, 2013

There are things that I do out of defiance of healthy living, bingeing is one of them.

And then there are the ones that I do just because I'm not paying attention. Which usually results in what happened today.

I had company over this past weekend, and last week, I worked hard to get the house clean. Then Saturday night was a late night, and from Saturday to Monday, there was a family issue that kept my stress levels up a bit. Monday night was GriefShare, and although I had booked off til 9am Tuesday, I didn't get enough sleep. Yesterday, I did Shred Level 2 for the first time since summer.

Today, I had a meeting at 9 and another one at 10. At both of them, I could barely spit out full sentences. I struggled, but my mind just felt so foggy, like I couldn't string those pieces together.

This afternoon, someone was going over topics on a project I'm working on, and the more he talked, the less I could retain. When I got back to my desk, I felt the tears of frustration start. (I'm thankful for being in a corner cubicle, no one could see me.) It took me 20 mins to find the energy to message a friend in the office, asking for her help. I couldn't even tell her via text what was going on. We talked for about 10 mins, which helped me calm down enough to find energy to leave the office. I didn't make it to the end of the day.

The reasons:

1) I'm overtired from everything since last Monday.
2) I miss My Guy for reminding me not to overdo it, so I don't get like this.

I'm to the point I don't give a whit about my job. I just don't care. And I know that stems from grief. Knowing doesn't help right now, though.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v KIYOSHI04
    *hug*
    1202 days ago
  • v NEWFIEGIRLHERE
    Jo, I too have no no words of wisdom, but I am so glad that you at least recognize and acknowledge what you are going through. BIG HUGS to you girl, I wish there was something that I could do to ease your burden.
    emoticon
    1237 days ago
  • v MONIQUEDVA
    Jo...I have no words of wisdom...but as a friend, I ask you to treat yourself as you would a good friend. Be gentle. Be kind. Be honest. It's easier in the long run.
    1238 days ago
  • v HEDOMOMMY
    I am sorry to hear that your week has been so crappy!
    You need a spa day or at the minimum some retail therapy other than what is found at the B Mall. This crazy weather we are having is a downer to boot.

    A
    PS girl... let the binge go. For what little there is left to you.. you look amazing :)
    1238 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/8/2013 10:56:34 AM
  • v YICHE12
    Oh dear! I do hear you... My heart goes out to you. I send hugs and prayers your way honey. emoticon
    1238 days ago
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