Wednesday, February 06, 2013
I have been lying on my driver's license about my weight since I began driving. I always felt like , if they weren't going to validate it by having me step on the scale, I had the right to give an "approximate" number. I even tried to make myself feel better about lying about it by saying, "well if the police were chasing me for a crime and had to identify me over radio, how much would they THINK I weighed?" Mind you, that is a very far-fetched idea; I have never been in any rouble and didn't even get my first ticket until I was 28 years old. But I convinced myself that shaving off 30, maybe even 50 pounds was okay because I didn't "look" my weight. Let's be clear: when I was 256 lbs, there was NO WAY I looked like the 209 lbs that I put on my driver's license. I was far past delusional to think no one would notice that sort of difference, but I did it anyway. This past July, two months into my weight loss journey, I had to get a new license. This time I was more rational in my thinking. Yes, I was back up to 259lbs after losing a considerable amount of weight two years prior, but I was also on a new weight loss journey and I was commited. THIS time, I was more conservative and put my weight at 218 lbs. Well today, I can celebrate and say that I AM FINALLY LIVING IN MY TRUTH! MY ID IS FINALLY VALID! I honestly feel like proud of my body for once so if I had to get a new license TODAY, would I lie about my poundage? I don't think so. I actually enjoy the shock value that comes with telling people I am 218 pounds. I earned 218 pounds. When I was young and insecure about being over 200 lbs, I may have looked at the 54 pounds lost, look at that 218 and say, "I can pass for 180." But I am tired of "passing". You don't help anyone by "passing". And if I gain 20 lbs, I have to be willing to tell that truth as well because honestly I got fatter over the years by lying to myself about my true size. Had I kept it real with myself, maybe I would have began this journey a long time before I did. I am just happy to finally be who I claimed to be!