I haven't been stuck on day 1 so that's a good thing. I've been walking with hubby (as much as he can with his back) and trying to get my body's strength back up. Yesterday I was able to do the week 1 of C25. It wasn't so much the gasping for air this time, but rather calf cramping during the first half. I kept pushing though and completed it. I'm debating on continuing day 2 & 3 in a row since the girls and I leave for Vegas on Friday. I don't want to say "oh I'll do it there" because hellloooooooo it's VEGAS?! Talked myself into it. Week 1 day 2, in the fog...today.

My family has been strangely supportive lately. Yes, I used the word strangely. Although I'm not used to such things, and maybe there are ulterior motives to the support, it feels very nice. My Kate, who is my very tall ballerina, wants better arms. She has accepted the fact that our family produced very tall, very "big boned" women but still wants to look good and really, I can't argue that. We did the Biggest Loser workout together and even though I was gasping and begging Bob for a little mercy on the "low intensity" workout my daughter was not impressed. She's looking more for arm sculpting. So, I'll find some nice dumbbell routines for her arms. The youngest Nicole comes home from cheer and says "you want to workout with me?" and was not pleased when I told her I just worked out.

My husband even took the time to go in the bedroom to let me work out. That's right. The man gave up his living room tv set. But...........................
.there's more.

I had been in kind of a kanundrum about self identity lately. See, you all know I just love color and the 80s. and I do. This is me:

**sears, I may to to buy this...**

**either woman actually....ruthless people**

**I wanted to be Madonna (1983) OR

**still awesome today**

However, some days I dream of being this:

**so clean, so classic**

**absolutely timeless**

**okay, who WOULDN'T love to look this way?**

We were shopping at Target the other day and I told him. "I was going to buy this purple purse because I just love it, but this black and white purse is the person I want to be: all classic and clean. So, I didn't buy either. What do you think?" He looked at me. I couldn't tell if he was exasperated or perplexed that I'd spring this dilemma on him. He immediately threw the purple purse in the cart. "It's you" he said and kept going.

I suppose it is. But I still look at that black and white, the cleanness of it. Then I look at my shoes, all hot pink and ready to run. I'm a nut....40something and I still don't know who I am.

Maybe I can be both. It's possible to mesh one world with another right? Well, I have 40 pounds to figure out how to get out of the life of sweats and into something a little more "fashionable".

Let's see...if I were to mesh the two together. Self, meet self. It would probably look like:


So that is what happens when I meet myself. I love her! Mission accomplished.