Wednesday, February 06, 2013
The Self Indulgent Part
I'm sad. There's been a lot of sh!t handed to me and to the people I love lately, and it sucks. I'm sick of cancer claiming my people, I'm sick of hearing about another terminal diagnosis, I'm sad for friends' babies with birth defects and other babies needing corrective surgery at two months old. I'm sick of failed relationships. I'm tired of gaining weight because I'm stress eating because I don't know what else to do. I'm dwelling. I'm moping. I'm hibernating. I'm tired of being sad. It's exhausting and debilitating.
The Better Part
I'm not *always* sad. I have good things in my life too. I have amazing friends and family who ALWAYS go out of their way to say a kind word, to listen, to check in on me, to coax me out to dinner even when I don't want to get off the couch. And when I'm distracted and busy, I'm not dwelling on the negative. I *am* capable of happiness, even in the midst of attending my second funeral in a month.
I'm back to the gym, I'm starting to get the food under control. I'm consciously choosing - not always, but more often - to focus on the positive and stop dwelling on the negative.
I saw this on Facebook the other day, and I've been trying to play it on repeat in my head ever since.
Things will get better. Time heals, right? In the meantime, I will focus on the positives in my life and keep moving forward.