Wednesday, February 06, 2013
I m gonna cry LOL
I am almost done with my Real estate classes.
I am mid way through my flip project.
I have made a ton of EXCUSE As to way I can't "exercise"
and I think I have been stress eating.
Yesterday was a wake up call.
I know I have "gained" but thought i was ok.
I have not run for months and was fine before etc.
My hubby pulled out P90x, just the AB ripper!
I was like SURE.....
OH MY GOD! I lost all my muscle....
I had no idea.... I felt like I had 20lbs on me
I could still do some move....
but I felt like there were Loose fat in places that wasn't
(SOFT where it was tight)
I was mostly Cardio and the inner thigh "fat" that stopped me from doing some of the moves!!!
So after I LOOKED At myself in the mirror
you know, REALLY LOOKED........ I can't believe how I have let myself go!
It's funny, how I just don't pay attention to ME!
I also started thinking about my dietry habit!
I haven't had a DECENT healthy meals in MONTHS!!!!! (CLEAN)
I think in my grazing I am consuming 3000 cals a day without realizing it!
I jumped on the scale 182!!!!! back to square one!
the first 2 year here, I was in the EXTREME
you all were probably to POLITE to tell me ;p
but I needed it, it needed to know I can do it if I put my mind to it.
but who in real world exercise 4 hours a day. running and p90xing and eat clean.
it was a job in itself!
this time it will be SLOW and steady.
I need to fit it into my crazy schedule
I need to switch my mindset at running 1 mile is NO BIG DEAL!
when I run I feel is I can't ru 5 miles, I am a failure (I need to change that)
and I need to do a fridge overall
I KNOW I CAN DO THIS
It's that I just let to slide on the back burner and it's a slippery slope.
I really need your support.
sorry this has been such a roller coaster journey.