Wednesday, February 06, 2013
Wish I had a pill to sell, as all sorts of people that don't know the spark wisdom of portion control, more vegetables and fruit, water rich every, fiber, moving more, a committed time period of exercise, getting enough sleep, giving your body the nutrition it needs so the "I'm hungry" button turns off, exchange sitting in front of tv for playing and walking with friends, learn to get happy and satisfied with yourself, stopping turning your control over to other people, find the support you need to make this a life long journey....well I would be making a bundle off of them.
The reality is that between Friday and today I am down 2 pant sizes. Ok I did major suck in but the zipper when up without any strain. Once on I kept looking at myself in disbelief. One part of the reality is getting up each day at 7a.m. getting a quick shower and venti latte and then running around doing so many errands that by the time I get home at 9:30 or 10p.m. I grab a quick salad with fish and have shot of vodka with 1/2 cup of ice cream and fall exhausted into solid 8 to 8.5 hours of sleep. 618 kcal which means to be getting off as much as I have I must be burning about 450 calories an hour..as much as moderate aerobics. I have been literally racing around, but also my heart rate has been much higher (today measured just before my infusion at 109). Surprisingly my blood pressure has not been higher. I have been very thirst and drinking tons of water. Also they say that brain activity accounts for 20-30% of your daily calories....I believe this is where I'm blowing away the calories. Learning especially is linked to the high end of the brain glucose burning.
My last five days have been high gear new experiences, learning, problem solving. Some would say this is a stressful time, I don't think I've had the luxury to experience stress rather I've been swimming the river of life as fast as I can without a moment to think of comfort, taking time out to eat, or shop for food...some friends have dropped off some stuff..but I'm luck to have the energy at the end of the day to eat it.
Friday: After racing to sign paperwork at my father's hospital because things were changing so fast I requested my brother come and visit my dad so that my report was not the only one my mother heard. Recap..my mother is in a care facility after having broken her hip/surgery. I'd been running over to see her daily..clean clothes...cleaning her house etc. As my brother and I were traveling to see my father I got a call that mother in law had collapsed before her exercise class and was refusing 911 being called (oh dear failed to mention earlier that morning I.d taken out the garbage, swept the floor, taken my car into be repaired, taken my dog for a walk....all before 10am) So my brain went crazy multi tasking by calling my husband and getting his permission to say he said she must go to the doctor, calling her heart doctor racing over there to put her in a wheelchair and push her to my car, return her car to her house and then getting feedback from the doctor to take her directly to ER..dropping her off, going to my dad's hospital..visiting him and exercising his limp arms and legs, then going to my parents house and doing more tasks, going with my brother to visit my mom and reviewing my dad's status (completely. Non responsive after pulling out multiple tubes..trac)...so we collectively agreed to switch him to comfort care. Then sorted mail and bills with mom. Took my brother back and picked up my own house a bit and then got a call my friends mom has her one lung collapse and she wasn't expected to last more than a few days. I wanted to be with my friend. but was too tired to drive. I got a text yet before I could answer it I got a call "your father passed away at 9:01p.m." Then looked at the text..our family friend had just lost there dad an hour before. I started making calls..my brother, the funeral home, my daughter, my aunts, a work friend. My brother and I had decided to visit my mom in the morning in person and tell her but that changed as people started calling me wanting to give their condolences to her. So I made the hardest call of my life to my mom.
Saturday: Hit the ground early. I was at my parents house AT 7am for a per existing appointment to meet some guys trying to get my dad's old truck running so they could buy it. I. got a physical work out moving garage stuff to clear a path, helping jack up the truck, pulling on the rope and standing out in the cold. After that was done then... Picking up held mail from the post office, running to banks and paying bills, changing lights at my parents house, loading up the oxygen compressor and multiple tanks and returning them to the company. Then running over to my moms and discussion plans. Calling back my friends to give condolences and support. I called the hospital to check on my MIL and they said her pacemaker was giving error messages. Probably a battery in the process of running down and she would need a new one put in. Then I learned my brother in law had taken her home. He spent the night with her.
Sunday: So very tired but made to do lists. Got a call from the funeral home and then email outlining the list of information and documents they would need. We set a time to meet on Monday. I'd been invited to a superbowl party but I was going to blow it off but then after being frustrated at not having an ink cartridge to print the documents I needed my mom to sign I changed my mind and quick got rolling making cucumber and spicy tuna sushi and laying it out on a tray...getting out the door and going to watch. I won a pot on my score prediction in the 2nd half. Kept score and learned a few new things about football. Total blast because the host had quarterly bingo that had a mixture of advertiser and game plays so my mind was very engaged. Way healthy food...bean burrito bar, veggies, salads, etc. I did have a lite corona which I watered down each quarter so that by the last I'd had three bottles of water. Then found a place to print off the paperwork bring it up to my mom's for signatures. Back home walked the dog and bed.
Monday: Up early got my mail, did dishes gave pup quick walk etc. Called mother in law no answer. Called doctors office and they wanted to see her back that day. Tried to contact her sons no call backs. When to parents house got new clothes for mom, my dad's burial clothes, dug through boxes to find document (weigh lifting involved), cleared the answering machine and returned some calls. Ran down to my mother in laws to make sure she could get dressed ok. Went to funeral home to go through documents then got some more signatures from my mom and got that back to funeral home with two minutes to spare. All the while checking Facebook emails and answering phone calls. Oh and coordinated a neighbor to get MIL to the doctor. Calls to sons asking them to step up because she was told to not drive do stairs etc and I had my infusion coming up today. Some rug cleaning. Dog walk.
Today: Ran to bank for myself then bank to get cashiers check to pay for burial. Back over to parents house to start sorting out dad clothes for consignment. Stopped got gas. First doctor appointment...about filling in the stop over the plate in my head to stop cold headaches and to check some new spots on my face. Jumped over to MIL to make sure she got lunch, to get her grocery list, get some power of attorney documents so tomorrow I can fax them to her sons so they can remotely manage things, found out her cell phone which is her way to get help was not working and called to get a new one. Raced back to get my infusion on time. They pampered me with warm blankets and feetup while I contacted the church for an appointment time, cancelled some of my mums upcoming appoints delayed others, arranged to drive up to get hot house flowers on Thursday and meet with my brother to plan delegation on Friday. After infusion bought new black coat for the graveside service. I haven't gotten a new coat since 1990 - really needed it...then was trying on pants and was finding them falling off...which is the long story with many a missing errand of how to lose 2 pant sizes in 5 days.
My heart is calm my father is finally through his suffering. My mother is doing the work in rehab and did four step today. Other than flowers the work for Tuesday is done..casket clothes health department paperwork...talking with the pathologist..setting time...informing family..finding deacon...a place to eat lunch after.
Now onward. Supporting mom's recovery. Getting the house ready for her coming home (clear his clothes and medical supplies..yes talked it over with mom). groceries and a working phone for my MIL tomorrow. Faxes off to sons. Do ongoing budget for bills. Set up all the details of the memorial service. Taxes. Inform banks and social security and a hundred and one details I'm over thinking about tonight.
Please rejoice with me there is a better view just around the bend.