I am no longer a bride-to-be. As of October 2012, I broke things off with my ex. Things were really unhealthy. I don't want to go into too much detail. I thought about deleting my last post, where I announced our engagement to SP. I don't want to try to erase my history though.
Things were rough for a while, but since then they have been on the up. Winter has been challenging in all the best ways. In November I started dating again, and by December I became exclusive with DBF, G. I'm not used to dating someone who acts so mature and treats me so well, but I'd like to get used to it.
After Winter break and visiting my family, I regained the weight I lost after B and I's split. I was feeling good at 136, when I went back up to 145. I thought I had things under control, but now I'm starting February at 151. I want to lose weight so I feel confident again. G and I plan on traveling in Summer, and I want to look and feel my best.
Life is going well in other realms too. In September, I was able to go back to school, and it's been my best year yet. I should graduate by the Summer of 2014. At the end of October, I got my own apartment, and I've since furnished and decorated it exactly the way I like. The cupboards are stocked with healthy food and I enjoy mostly cooking for myself.
This week for class, we are to create our own, "Sabbath," and I've focused on purging things I don't need/use/want, by donating them to Goodwill. Anything that reminds me of my ex is being discarded. Sadly, though I've been in my apartment for months, it's taken this long for it to feel like home; my shelves were a mess, I still had unpacked boxes, there was furniture that still needed to be put together. I spend half the week at DBF's apartment, which is an 80 minute drive from mine, and the other half I am in class most of the time. It became easy to neglect my place and leave it half-moved into.
I also am on a juice-fast for 72 hours to help boost my weight-loss and cleanse myself of toxins. Meditation, yoga, creating art, and ritually/mindfully cleansing my home and my myself are all part of this 72 hour at-home retreat. I'm supposed to make a poster board to present to my class on the 12th. So far, I'm feeling relaxed and empowered.