Losing Momentum

Friday, April 20, 2007

I've been working really hard the past 10 weeks, working out and dieting, really trying to lose weight and get in shape. I've made some progress, yes. I've lost 15 pounds and dropped one pants size.

But it's getting really, really hard to keep up.

When I first made the decision to do this, I was committed. I was incredibly diligent about measuring my food, keeping a food log, eating 5 smaller meals instead of 2 or 3 larger meals, and exercising regularly. The last 2 weeks have been going downhill fast.

I find myself skipping workouts more often. I find myself eating bad foods more often. I find myself having a bad attitude a lot more often.

One thing I've come to realize over the past 10 weeks is that this whole diet/exercise/weight loss thing is more mental than anything else. The Mental Game is such a huge part of it. *Doing* something is much easier than *convincing yourself* you are going to do it. I even said that to my trainer not long ago. I was having a really hard time during a workout and I told him I was having a bad case of "I can't do this" that day. He said something about "I don't want to" and I said no... it's not that. I DO want to, but I swear to god I feel like I can't today.

And that feeling has been getting progressively worse.

You'd think that making progress would be reason enough to continue. Well, in some ways it is and in other ways it's not. I'm making progress, yes... but not as much as I'd like. Not as much as other people seem to make. Not enough that you can look at me and tell (how sad is that? I've dropped a pants size and you can't even tell). So, while I'm very glad and thankful for the progress I've made, I'm more discouraged than encouraged because I feel like I will never, ever reach my goals.

I have a trip coming up at the end of June and I have (had) goals for the weight I want to be by that time. It's just plain not going to happen. I have revised my goals to reflect what I consider to be "acceptable" progress for that time. I may or may not make it. My trainer says for sure I will... but I'm not so sure.

Anyway. I just wanted to say that it's hard. It's even a lot harder than I thought it would be. And I am losing faith in myself and my momentum and my motivation, and I am terrified that this is going to be yet something else that I fail at. I feel like I am destined to be fat forever.

I need a major pep talk.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you, Kelly. :)

    Believe it or not, I have been doing those things that you suggested. I did *so well* for the first 8 or 9 weeks. I had a great attitude, I was very committed and very motivated and very positive about the whole thing.

    I'm still (somewhat) positive about things, I'm just finding it harder and harder to maintain that committed, in-it-for-the-long-haul mindset.

    And it hasn't been a sudden, overnight thing. It's been gradual over the past 2 weeks. You know... one day I talk myself out of going to the gym because I have a headache... but it's ok, because I'll go tomorrow. And one day I have a snack in bed at midnight... but it's ok, because I haven't done that in weeks. And suddenly I feel like I'm almost back at square one with my attitude and habits. It's HARD!

    And I guess another big part of the problem is that *I* don't see any changes in me yet. Even after dropping a pants size. Maybe I'm blind, but I just don't see it. And it's hard to feel like I'm working SO HARD and for SO LONG with nothing to show for it. And even if it does show... I still have SO FAR to go.

    I just need a pep talk. I need to get my head right. I need to shake this off and get back into it full force.

    Thank you again, though, for your sweet and positive comments. :)
    3867 days ago
  • KELLY130
    don;t think of it as a diet. think of it as a whole new way of being. if you stop thinking about it in a negative way, i.e. damn i am dieting i really want that cake, and think of it as wow, i am healthy, i love working out, i look fantastic, its way easier to stick with. also, dont deprive yourself of the treats that you crave!!! have a bite or two of that super yummy choco fudge cake. that way, your body doesnt feel deprived, its gettign the yummy things it wants. good luck!!! and congrats on 15 pounds!! thats awesome
    3867 days ago
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