Tuesday, February 05, 2013
Ok. So I officially gained back the weight I lost... No surprise. BUT I am not letting that get in my way. I am going to get back on track. I was watching biggest loser and realized I am not different than anyone else, i am scared but thats not an excuse . I was doing really well and I was really happy and I am scared of getting back on the wagon. It makes me nervous. Probably because I am really being successful and holy crap what if I actually do it this time? lol! What a silly thing to be scared of. I dont know what else is making me nervous to hit the gym again, I really liked working out once I was there. I think the key to success is getting there early like I was. I just have to find my routine and get back on the wagon. I think If I do this Ill even sleep better and be more productive throughout the day. I also realized while watching biggest loser ( what a therapy session) that this fear does not just go into my weight loss but also my grad school work. I work really hard but I can procrastinate things out of fear.... what is there to be fearful of? Doing well? Getting the work done? Having more free time? I think I have an avoidance of hard work and its definately going to end here. I need to make my health and myself a priority again and not lose control like I did last semester. The goal is not to be model thin, the goal is to be healthy active and HAPPY. Clearly skipping the gym, worrying about what I am eating when I know I should be eating healthy, and then eating more to compensate is not making me happy and that needs to change. Time to be HAPPY!