Today I changed the "About Me" section on my Spark Page to reflect something that I continue to struggle with and have worked on since I joined Spark People almost three years ago - Learning to Love Myself. To be perfectly honest, it probably goes much farther back in my past than that. I honestly see it as the root cause of my obesity. These are very hard words to type.
I don't like who I am, what I look like, my body, and so I turn to food for comfort. Each failure only adds to the disgust I feel as the pounds return and add up. It's a vicious circle - a whirlpool that keeps sucking me back into the depths of loathing and despair.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who struggles with this. In my reading I see that it comes through in many of our blogs. So in keeping with this personal quest to overcome this vehicle of self sabotage, February, a month devoted to love seems like the perfect reason to revisit this endeavor.
I've been doing a lot of reading and am going to be giving some suggestions in my future blogs this month for taking action to overcome this flaw within myself. I feel that is what will set me free from this "prison of a body" that I find myself locked into - a labyrinth of deep passages that I am unable to successfully navigate in order to escape and finally be free. Perhaps they will help you to shine a light in your own areas where you are stuck.
Here's today's suggestions:
* Turn your focus away from criticism and focus on the positive. Instead of focusing on what you do or did wrong, focus on what you do that's a step in the right direction, or right.
* Accept uncertainty. Our pain comes from living in the past, dwelling on past mistakes, what was said, what was done. Conversely we can also be fearful of the future - the "what if'. Try to remain objective, and focus on what's happening at the moment. This will help you to relax a little bit.
* Become aware of self neglect and rejection. If you are undecided, or having some thought that you are aware may not be right, ask yourself whether or not what you are about to do honors you and what you are trying to accomplish.
I hope you are not struggling as I am, but if you are struggling, or keep tripping yourself up, please stop by in the coming days to read some of the suggestions. It's not been easy so far, but I know that I need to keep focused on overcoming this if I'm to have any chance of success in reaching my goals, and ultimately, my goal weight.
Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read this.