Tuesday, February 05, 2013
I'm so mad at myself. I exercised today and then promptly dropped an almost full bottle of body wash on the worst part of my injured foot. Swelled immediately. Guess me and my chair are going to become friends again. I'm so angry. There is always something in my way. I just want to scream. Oh well, chair exercise anyone?
I did track yesterday and tracking today. Did okay for the most part-a little over on the fat and a tad low on the protein. (peanut butter-love it but it's full of fat)
I'd hope to get out of the house some today as the weather is nice but I hobbled to the mailbox across the street in my sandals and I don't think I'll be going anywhere except the bank and I'll have to drive. I also told my son I'd take him to apply for jobs. I'd planned to window shop while he applied but guess I'll be sitting in the car.
I was suppose to attend a grief group tonight but I can't make myself do it. It's too hard and my car is a piece of junk and it's a bit of a distance since I live in the middle of nowhere. And honestly, I'm too chicken to go alone. I need to learn to do things alone cause it's that or do nothing.
Of course, if I'm going to keep dropping things on my foot, I won't be doing much anyway. I'm so angry. My arms hurt really bad this morning-woke me up early. I should have been more careful as I drop almost everything these days. My hands just don't work as well as they should. Just another brick wall in my way.
My kid would have his license and could take himself job hunting if we had a decent car. Boy, when I get in a mood it just stays.
My husband made a joke about hanging last night and it really upset me. My child died by hanging and he finds this amusing? I remind myself for the millionth time that the man is feelings impaired and really doesn't get it. I was calm and simply told him to never say that again and glared at him when he asked "why?" I've been seething ever since and I need to vent. But people are sick of me complaining about a situation I'm not smart enough to change so I keep trying to stop myself from venting about it to people. It is what it is.
Going to be a long, boring day-thanks to my lack of gracefulness.