I have to admit that I now find myself in a place I had been anxious about. I'm back where I was the last time I was losing weight. Before the bottom fell out and I started a dangerous climb to my highest weight.

First, some background to the background... As a senior in high school (graduated 1995), I was a size 14 and about 180 pounds. I wasn't proud of my body but I didn't absolutely hate it either. Then I got pregnant at 18 and was stressed out and frankly terrified during that pregnancy and gained too much weight. My daughter was born in 1996 and over the next few years my weight went up and down with the tides of my emotions.

I got pregnant with my son in the fall of 2005. At the beginning of that pregnancy my weight was in the high 270s. I lost weight during the first trimester (for the health of the baby) and at the end of that pregnancy my net gain was just a few pounds - my weight was in the low 280s. My son was born healthy in June 2006.

In the several months after his birth, I walked regularly for exercise and was careful about what I ate. By the spring of 2007 I was down to the 220s.

Then I went on vacation, got bronchitis and broke a bone in my foot. My exercise and healthier eating habits came to a screeching halt. In the following 7 months, I gained 28 pounds. My highest recorded weight was in May 2011 at 291 pounds. (I must have blocked that from my memory - I had thought my highest weight was 286.)

But now - after 5 months with SparkPeople - my weight is back down to where it was in spring 2007. I spent my first few months on SparkPeople kicking myself for gaining that weight. I should not have let an injury and illness derail me so completely. If I had just been able to maintain where I was, I wouldn't have had to re-lose that 50+ pounds.

But I think I've finally begun to let that go. I can't go back and change the past. What I *can* do is continue on this healthy journey. I really feel like the is the end of the first chapter of my life with SparkPeople - getting back to the weight I was at that stage in my life.

Now on to the next big goals -- getting under 200 and then back down to where I was at 18 (180 pounds). Then, ultimately, getting down to a healthy BMI - 149 or below for my height. My hypothetical goal weight is 140 pounds - half of my SparkPeople starting weight of 281.

Those are big scary goals, so in the mean time I will continue to meet (and celebrate) daily nutrition goals, weekly and monthly fitness goals (1500+ calories burned per week and 1000+ minutes per month), and celebrate each time I cross another 10 pound mark.

Here we go!!!

******

These numbers are from my doctor visits of the last 6 years, beginning with April 2007:

Apr-07: 229
Dec-07: 257
Jul-08: 273
Feb-09: 276
Apr-09: 280
Sep-09: 270
Aug-10: 290
May-11: 291
Mar-12: 286
May-12: 282
Sep-12: 281 (I joined SparkPeople on September 10, 2012.)

These numbers are from my first weigh-in of each month since joining SparkPeople:

Oct-12: 273
Nov-12: 259
Dec-12: 248
Jan-12: 238
Feb-12: 229