I've been here before - this time I have to keep moving forward
Tuesday, February 05, 2013
I have to admit that I now find myself in a place I had been anxious about. I'm back where I was the last time I was losing weight. Before the bottom fell out and I started a dangerous climb to my highest weight.
First, some background to the background... As a senior in high school (graduated 1995), I was a size 14 and about 180 pounds. I wasn't proud of my body but I didn't absolutely hate it either. Then I got pregnant at 18 and was stressed out and frankly terrified during that pregnancy and gained too much weight. My daughter was born in 1996 and over the next few years my weight went up and down with the tides of my emotions.
I got pregnant with my son in the fall of 2005. At the beginning of that pregnancy my weight was in the high 270s. I lost weight during the first trimester (for the health of the baby) and at the end of that pregnancy my net gain was just a few pounds - my weight was in the low 280s. My son was born healthy in June 2006.
In the several months after his birth, I walked regularly for exercise and was careful about what I ate. By the spring of 2007 I was down to the 220s.
Then I went on vacation, got bronchitis and broke a bone in my foot. My exercise and healthier eating habits came to a screeching halt. In the following 7 months, I gained 28 pounds. My highest recorded weight was in May 2011 at 291 pounds. (I must have blocked that from my memory - I had thought my highest weight was 286.)
But now - after 5 months with SparkPeople - my weight is back down to where it was in spring 2007. I spent my first few months on SparkPeople kicking myself for gaining that weight. I should not have let an injury and illness derail me so completely. If I had just been able to maintain where I was, I wouldn't have had to re-lose that 50+ pounds.
But I think I've finally begun to let that go. I can't go back and change the past. What I *can* do is continue on this healthy journey. I really feel like the is the end of the first chapter of my life with SparkPeople - getting back to the weight I was at that stage in my life.
Now on to the next big goals -- getting under 200 and then back down to where I was at 18 (180 pounds). Then, ultimately, getting down to a healthy BMI - 149 or below for my height. My hypothetical goal weight is 140 pounds - half of my SparkPeople starting weight of 281.
Those are big scary goals, so in the mean time I will continue to meet (and celebrate) daily nutrition goals, weekly and monthly fitness goals (1500+ calories burned per week and 1000+ minutes per month), and celebrate each time I cross another 10 pound mark.
Here we go!!!
These numbers are from my doctor visits of the last 6 years, beginning with April 2007:
Sep-2012: 281 (I joined SparkPeople on September 10, 2012.)
These numbers are from my first weigh-in of each month since joining SparkPeople:
Member Comments About This Blog Post
Good luck to you! Those goals can really be scary sometimes - I should know, it always gets me down.
I think the trick is not to think about them at all. Set them, and put them aside. Just concentrate at one step at a time! I almost made that same mistake again now, looking at bigger picture (and I don't mean of me, but the situation ;) ). This is really one situation where you shouldn't do that!
I'm also still learning and coping with it all, but I can give you my point of view from time to time, and what I've learned, and if it helps - well, that's what this is all about.
So, really - good luck, and count on support from us all here.
1400 days ago
I am the world Worst Ever yo-yo dieter... UGH. So I am Determined this time is going to be different. I literally am a self-talk guru crazy these days. I am trying hard to change the messages in my head. I remind myself Everyday that I am Not on a diet- there is No end. I am on a Lifestyle Change and this is it, forever. I am Losing weight, I am getting Rid of it- cause I never intend to find it again!! LOL. I know eventually my weight will level out because I am not going to lower calories then needed to lose , but I will maintain at my calorie count and use activity and Moderation, Moderation, and Extreme moderation as needed to eat a Health Balanced diet. I use a simple plate method by the USDA. 1/2 veggies, 1/4 lean meat, 1/4 whole grain. If I have to eat fast I grab a health shake or bar- NOT fast food. If I am at a function with cake or something unhealthy I have a Bite- not a piece. lol.. I track, every-single-calorie going in my mouth. Now that I really Get the mathematical equation of what I am eating I ask myself Consciously, is this really worth it??? Very occasionally that answer is Yes, but mostly the answer is... No way... I can't glow on about Spark People enough because I feel this sight really helped me take a Desire, and turn it into a Sustainable, Life Goal and then helped me create a Realistic plan to make that happen and sprinkled on some Fun and Motivation- what more could I ask for???? :)
1400 days ago
Congrats! That's an amazing amount of weight to lose in just a few months :)
I know how you feel about getting derailed and letting weight come back on, etc. When I joined SP in August 12, I was SO determined and into it - for the first time in a VERY long time I was being consistent with exercise, eating much healthier - and I noticed big improvements in how I felt physically and also emotionally - I was a much more positive person, it seemed. I also lost around 8 lbs or so in total in a little over 2 months. Then, in November I got sidetracked, got out of all of my good habits and kind of adopted an all or nothing attitude - focusing on the "nothing". I gained the weight back, and just kind of gave up. I'm just now getting back into the swing of things, and would like to be sure to push through any hard times that may come!
Good luck in continuing your weight loss - you can do it! :)
1400 days ago
Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
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