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    BERKANA_T   13,904
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Mental Merry-Go-Round


Tuesday, February 05, 2013

I woke up this morning with a headache that is well on it's way to becoming a full blown migraine. Yay me. Ah well, I'm toughing it out at work as long as I can.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, about so many things.

I've been struggling with my focus in regards to my eating. Having to cut out all dairy has been hard enough, and then the doctor runs some additional blood work and from the results suggests that I may have sensitivies to a whole host of other foods. Given the fact that I have severe acid reflux, so I question whether or not the gastro-intestinal reaction to those other foods has been hidden in the acid reflux symptoms for the past decade or so. In fact, could the reactions to some (or even worse, all) of those foods actually be the CAUSE of the acid relux? And if so, why did the doctors not look into causes when they diagnosed me, especially since the diagnosis was so severe? All these questions and worries has made it easier to give to cravings and binges. Not a good way to be going on.

I'm back on track working out, after a very rough January. (Yay me! Pat on the back) This is a good thing since being fit and healthy is very important for me, since we've decided to actively try to conceive. (Insert me doing a little happy dance here) But that brings on it's own host of questions. How this will impact our lives...my daughter...my SO...my job...everything. We have a small house. It's big enough for the three of us, but add in a little one and things could get tight. And I really don't want to have another only child (I already have a 15 year old daughter), so if we decide to have two more, then the house will be REALLY tight. Waiting is no longer an option for me, medically...so many questions, so many options, and no simple obvious answers to any of them.

And off my brain goes on another trip on the mental worry merry-go-ground....
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