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    DEBJAE   30,777
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Just catching up

Tuesday, February 05, 2013

The comfort of a blanket, a good book and my couch has been more appealing to me than a regular exercise routine. The empty spot left by losing someone close is slowly healing. I’m trying not to feel weird about it and not to force it; I think of him often and remember all the endless ways he kept me company. He was my dog and since I blogged about it last time, I won’t go into detail here but this type of grief has been something new to me. It’s about missing his presence; since it was just me and him for so long, I still look for him and want to do routine things like needing to get home to let him out…but then I remember. I find myself seeking comfort in things that are familiar to me; both people and things that I don’t have to put any effort into. Thankfully, I have not turned to food for that comfort I seek.

Alone time is something I’m used to; I have been embracing my introverted self and have some books in mind to help me. I’m curious how do introverted people date? The guy I was seeing, well…I ended it. He was nice and normal and handsome…but needy. I am independent and used to doing for myself…bad combination for a needy guy. And, he didn’t understand my need for space/time alone…which led me to the recognition of my introversion and how it affects my dating life…or lack of. I like men, I like to date but I am in no way, shape or form hunting for a husband. I am more than okay being single. But back to the introverted thing…I am not the most social person in the room but if I come across someone where we click and I notice we have things in common, it’s easy for me to speak with them and get to know them. It’s the initial part of conversation I dread…small talk is not my specialty. I even looked into starting up a Spark Team for introverts to bring like minded people together BUT there’s no way I have the time & energy to devote to something like that so I put that idea away. Maybe another time though.

I have not given up on being active, I do random workout DVD’s a couple of times a week, last week I went running and thought ‘that felt good, I need to do that again’ so it’s not like I’m a complete lazy bum. I weed-eated yesterday so my arms feel as if they weigh 100 pounds each today-no workout today or tomorrow. I’ll go home and spray the yard with weed-b-gone this evening…my grass sure isn’t growing but those darned weeds are ridiculous! I have motivation to get in tip-top shape and to increase my workouts. I am planning on two mud runs this year and I was invited to hike the Grand Canyon in June!!! We are going from the North rim to the South rim, or vice versa. That’s a little overwhelming but I’ve got time to plan it out so I shouldn’t have to rush anything. I don’t have any hiking gear at all so I’m comparing buying to renting equipment. If I rent it twice, would it be more economical to have bought it instead? I’m guessing there will be a mix of bought, borrowed and rented equipment.

So that’s my spiel…what’s been going on with me. Thanks for reading and have a great week!


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RONNIEHUEY 2/15/2013 1:47AM

    Thanks

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IRP1114 2/11/2013 11:58AM

    Ooo trip sounds awesome! So sorry about the empty space and all the emotions you must have and are going through.... Sigh. It must be hard I am sure. My brother in law's family just lost their dog to intestinal cancer last week and my two nephews and niece are very sad right now.
As for the dating thing I think it is a challenge for everyone who has their lives and routines set to make time for new relationships. I totally see how being with someone who is needy would be a problem. Hopefully someone who understands your needs comes along somehow ;-) You deserve someone who is willing to give you your space when you need it.
I envy the fact that you have quiet alone time lol! Seriously almost as much as I envy the trip you are planning! If I am lucky I might get like 2 hours alone once every two weeks or so. Crazy right. So refreshing when you can just hear your own thoughts!
Anyway thanks for the update sorry I had missed your recent logs! Hope you are doing well and getting a few more good runs and workouts in :-)

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ALWYS-LKN-UP 2/8/2013 9:03PM

    emoticon Thank you for sharing your update! Good books, the Grand Canyon hike, quiet time - sounds top-notch to me! I'm sorry about your loss of your fur baby but its nice to hear that you are just easing thru the grief at your own pace. That is never an easy thing.

Being an independent introvert is a hard thing for men to handle, I'm experiencing the same thing. Needy definitely does not fit into the equation! Hopefully you find a fellow independent introvert gentleman that grooves on you & you can share a few wonderful moments that eventually turn into more wonderful moments. :)

I hope this has found you well & I hope you have a splendid weekend! emoticon

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REALLY_ROBIN 2/5/2013 12:39PM

    I think you are doing great...working through the loss of such a beloved member of your family is amazing, especially without turning to your old comforter...food. I think listening to yourself on what you need is most important, and if someone comes along that needs similar things then it will go somewhere when it comes to dating. I'm sure you will get back to the everyday fitness thing when you are feeling better and I know you will do great at the Grand Canyon! It's a great thing that you are planning now for it!!! Hugs to you dear friend...thanks for checking in with us!!!

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LOWFATFOODIE 2/5/2013 12:06PM

    wow, you're more like me than I realized.
I'm an introvert and have been re-embracing just what that really means for a few years. I saw a speaker who summed it up in a way that didn't make it a negative thing-- just explained that Introverts get re-energized from being alone (as opposed to extroverts who get energized from being with people).
I am a leader, a speaker, and can be a VERY social person (not outgoing, not good at small talk, but social) but I absolutely need my down time. In business that meant not going to too many mixers or events in a week and planning on being at home with regularity.
I've been rebuilding my social life since my divorce. It can be very draining. But I know I need people in my life. Dating, well... it pretty much terrifies me. I didn't "date" in the traditional sense when I was younger. I found guys that I liked among my social circles and we'd start hanging out separately.
20 years later, this doesn't seem to be the way it works...
I'm ready to have new men in my life, but dating sites seem like torture to my introverted self. and I'm wary of someone nice wanting more than I can put into it. I'm enjoying living life on my own terms right now. Needy, as you put it, would push me away real fast.

As for the Grand Canyon, I am SUPER jealous! Lucky your friends have included you in their plans, since it takes some planning! June is coming up fast, so get your gear and do some short trips with it so its broken in!

Glad you shared...

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SDLEE514 2/5/2013 11:29AM

    ohmygosh---so jealous! I've been wanting to go to the Grand Canyon for years now...definitely up there on my list.

It sounds like you're taking care of yourself and thats all that matters. And I think there is a Spark Team for introverts! As far as dating...I'd consider myself an introvert too and I met my SO from friends...we each need our independent time. its just a matter of finding someone with enough similarities and common ground. I know, easier said than done.

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