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Not Ready

Tuesday, February 05, 2013

I need to update my page with a blog preparing me for the 5% Winter Challenge. But, I'm not ready. I am afraid it will just be a blog of whining. I need to get that out of the way first and then think hard about what I want to accomplish.

I am bothered that I have worked so hard and it doesn't take much to derail all the efforts.
I have strained my wrist, (almost better now) and got some kind of food poisoning, (again, better now).

I can't stop eating, it's my closet eating. When no one is around.
I can say to someone one moment exactly what needs to be done to become fit, healthy and happy and then walk away and put a whole candy bar in my mouth. How hypocritical.

Why do we sabotage our hard work?
I see now that I keep secretly thinking that once I lose all the weight I need to, I can go back to the way I used to be. Eat what I used to, etc Ha!

I need to take that "lifestyle change" to mean more that the way I have been treating it.
I have tried "baby steps", I need to move on to "giant steps".
My life needs to change. Big Time.

I can't wait till the 5% challenge to start. No, I mean I cannot wait that long to start. I need to go on record with my 5% challenge goals but I need to start NOW!.

As I am writing this, I feel better already. I am on my way to workout and I know that will feel even better.

I am going on record that I will visit SP daily and blog daily and become more accountable.
I need to do this.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WALLSTRONG 2/14/2013 1:45AM

    I understand you completely too! My issues have been the snacking at night and not being able to stop.
The only advice I would have is to tell you to - ask yourself how you feel when the closet eating starts. (I know for me, many times, it's when I feel anxious or worried, sometimes just tired.)
I am here for you, cheering for you, you can do this…
xoxoxo Heidi

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CHERSREADY2LOSE 2/14/2013 1:27AM

    I can TOTALLY relate! It's as if I was writing your blog myself. The closet eating the self-sabotage..totally me! I started WW on Oct. 1,12 and lost and gained the same 5 pounds for 4 months! In Jan. I started a couch to 5K training program with Wallstrong(Heidi) and are planning to meet up and do the 5K Race to Wrigley in May.
Only in the past 2 weeks has my weight been going down, and I told Heidi this is where I start to self sabotage myself! And my daughter being a Girl Scout we now have GS cookies in the house! I told her to hide them from me!
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CATLADY52 2/5/2013 5:11PM

    emoticon If you can turn around and actually do the exercise, you have taken the first step.

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FUSIONFITNESS3 2/5/2013 2:24PM

    This blog could be a real turn around for you because you have now identified and written how this is not a journey to a goal but a journey for a lifetime. That is the bottom line and one I am coming to grips with. It is that truth which is giving me much more confidence that I will be successful in keeping the weight off this time. Oh it'll be a struggle and taie hard work for a lifetime but I feel that with that bit of knowledge I am much better equipped to be successful in the long run.

Something I am wondering about. Do you cut out all your favorite food/junk food included typically? I am of the thinkiing that we need to allow ourselves some but it has to fit into the calorie count for the day. I have found that this leads to my reading the calorie count on the labels and then making the decision consciously of whether I want the junk or the healthy(which is usually more in volume) to count for those calories on that day,. Cutting out all that food for a life time isn't attatinable for me!

Keep up the good fight for your health. You're learning and you can do it.

Maria

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DIET_FRIEND 2/5/2013 12:26PM

    I'm a closet eater and a late-night snacker. My new mindset is to just lose one pound. I am not worrying about the 13 pounds I want to lose by Easter. I'm just going to worry about the one pound I want to lose by next Tuesday.

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FIT4MEIN2013 2/5/2013 11:02AM

    I used to be a closet eater, too. So proud to say that I have overcome it! Keep pushing. You can, you WILL succeed!

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TERESA159 2/5/2013 10:10AM

    I am a closet eater too! And I say that like the alcoholic says that they are always an alcoholic even when they don't drink anymore because at heart, you are always a closet eater, I think. You just have to stop doing it. And it's hard. I used to closet eat when I ran errands. I would not bring sweets into my house because I couldn't, if they were there, I would eat them till gone, often in one sitting. I love cookies!!! Anyway, see how it is? I STILL love cookies and ice cream and all of that and still on occasion, when I am out by myself, I'll stop and buy a bag of cookies or go and get Cold Stone or some doughnuts and eat them in the car and then throw out the package at the next stop so my hubby doesn't know. Yes! I STILL do this once in a great while. Really. Because I think I would just crack if I thought I could never, ever have those yummy things again. But 99 days out of 100 I just don't eat that stuff anymore. And that's what's different. Sometimes I go months! Yippeee! I lose the taste for it. Really, that DOES happen. So, I am happy with the level I am at, I can live with it, it's not ruining my health any more, I can loose weight and exercise and like how I look. Just stay out of my way though if I have that look in my eye....
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RDGISME 2/5/2013 9:38AM

    I to have that "closet eating" mentality to contend with. I only just stopped hiding in my bedroom to "sneak" some sugary foods a few months ago. I thought that I was sneaking..my weigh-ins told me differently. I was trying to hide my eating from myself, which just didn't happen! I now drink 10-14glasses of water a day. Yes, that sounds like a lot, but it is what helps me. I drink a 16.9oz bottle of water with every meal(8glasses), at both snack times(4 glasses) and then if I find myself grazing thru the kitchen in search for a snack. I also discovered that in the evening, after about 7:00 if I have an apple it satisfies the crunch, sweetness and hand-eye coordination that a snack would also bring. I understand how difficult it is to overcome this 'addiction' to sneaking the foods you love..you can do it! Baby steps didn't work..try baby steps AND bunny hops! I'm here if you need me!

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KIMPY225 2/5/2013 9:02AM

    Maybe you can make a list on a piece of paper and take a few days to add/edit it before you post on here?

Keep pushing!

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DEELREID2012 2/5/2013 8:48AM

  Good Morning.
Just wanted to let you know you are not alone! I have been like that for a while now...the closet eater...shoveling bags of cookies and brownies and candy bars in my mouth when no one was around to see me do it. I always felt miserable....yet I kept doing it. Such a vicious cycle. But you have made the 1st step. You are admitting to yourself that you need to change becuase of those things. I too did the same thing. I had to admit to myslef and to my husband what I had been doing. And in baby steps...I am getting there. I am now to where I want to eat healthier and not so much. I want to eat fruit (not so much veggies but I eat them anyway) and I want to eat healthier. And he is cutting back his portions as well. I think he is doing that so I don't feel the need to eat ennourmous amounts of food at the table. 2 or 3 helpings of stuff just doesn't cut it for me anymore.
The very best advise I can give to you is DRINK WATER! Lots of it. It is amazing how much your body will let you know it is thirsty.
In my blogs it says i started a 30 day wheat free challenge. That is not for everyone. It is my choice. I am not trying to push it on you or anyone. I just thought it was something I would like to try and see how it goes. I am only on Day 2 of it. I don't know if I will last the whole month but I am going to try just to see what the changes are.
Anyway.....hope your workout went well yesterday and you are in some way motivated to do it again today.
If you want to add me as a buddy....I am here for ya.
Have a good day...Make good choices for food...drink lotsa water......and know that you are not alone in your journey.


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