Tuesday, February 05, 2013
I have lost (and gained back) weight many times before. But I've never come this far without feeling even a little bit deprived. I haven't had one day yet where I struggled or where I considered giving up. I'm sure that this will happen eventually, but usually by now I would be back to eating a whole box of cookies, telling myself that I was fooling myself thinking this time would be different.
But this time I think it really IS different. And here are some reasons why:
- I already feel good about who I am as a person, and to be honest, I feel quite beautiful (sorry if I sound full of myself). What I'm trying to say is that for the first time, I don't feel like I have to change to look more attractive. I just want to learn how to be healthy. I'm relaxed about the whole thing.
- I moved out of my parents house since last time I tried. That means I'm in charge of what comes into the house. I'm in charge of what I cook. And if I want to i can stock the fridge full of veggies instead of liters and liters of custard. Healthy delicious things are within reach, unhealthy snacks are not.
- My husband doesn't really notice whether I lose weight or not, he just thinks I'm the most beautiful person in the world no matter what. It's not that he doesn't care, he's actually very supportive. It's just that his opinion of me doesn't change at all, no matter if I'm super skinny or very overweight. And that's quite nice. It means that I'm doing this for me, not for anyone else.
- I finally found a way of exercising that I love, running. It's never a chore. And if it does feel like a chore, I'll just take a day off and do it the next day.
- I have been telling people about it. I have told my family, my friends and my home church. This means that pretty much everywhere I go, I have a support system of people who really care about me and want me to succeed. Because every Home Church meeting involves a lot of food, it's great that they all know and help me out.
- For the first time in my life I can cook. Until about a month ago I had a few meals I could make and that was it. Now I'm experimenting with new vegetables, new herbs and spices, and I'm getting great feedback. On the menu tomorrow: roasted vegetables, couscous and chicken. Doesn't that sound delicious?
It's been about a month now and I feel so good. Yes, this time will be different. This time I'll make it to the finish line, and stay there too.