I'm gonna stop being scared
Monday, February 04, 2013
I'm getting toward the end of marathon training, and I'm finding that each long run is petrifying me. I don't know exactly why I've been allowing myself to psych myself out so bad, but that is what I've been doing. I came to a decision just now. I am going to STOP it, and just do what I need to do.
I'm getting older, but I'm by no means old. Heck, if really old people can run marathons (and they can and do), then I can do it, by God. So I'm just going to suck it up and do it.
Several sparkfriends checked in on my blog. They told me they believe in me, and I can do this. They told me to stop psyching myself out, and I am listening. They told me to take another look at fueling, and I'm going to do that. As I thought back on my last run, I kept to my run/walk/run schedule through 18 miles, with no major issues. I slowed down, yes, but I kept going.
In the 19th mile, I flipped the walk/run intervals, and for the last 0.5 mile I walked. Thinking back...I may have run out of fuel somewhere mid 19th mile. My last nutrition was at hour 4, and it was 5 hours in when I pooped out. Maybe, just maybe after 4 hours I need to fuel about every 30 minutes? It's worth a shot.
No matter what, I'm not going to let my fear win. It will not define or rule me. I've thought about Bob a lot on my long runs. Marathon training is hard - the hardest thing physically I've ever done. The last 8 months of Bob's life was hard. He kept his complaining to a minimum, and he never gave up. The least I can do is give the same effort he gave. I'm doing this in his honor, after all.
Now is the time to (wo)man up!