Monday, February 04, 2013
I am so angry with myself. I lost weight and did so well while I was in Ottawa. I was 29 days into my no smoking plan. I made extensive plans to continue with what I have been doing. I chose goals to work toward and posted these goals. Now I remember why I don't plan goals.
Since coming home from Ottawa, I have been gorging on cookies, smoking, and not working toward any of my goals. I don't know what has come over me.
BUT BUT BUT, I realize bashing myself won't make this any better. so now it is up to me to pull myself together. How to do that?
Recall what my ultimate goal is. That is to be thinner and healthy. To be able to walk anywhere for as long as I want in any weather. To shop with my friends in regular sized stores. I feel so left out on our group weekends. My goal for 2013 is to lose 50 lbs. I can't even imagine how I might feel, healthwise or the joy of wearing a couple of smaller sized clothes. That is what I want.
Now to pull myself together. I will reread my goals. I will believe in myself. I will give myself a break and remember that I am only human and I am not perfect. I always want to be all or nothing. I am actually , sometimes.
I am so glad for blogs. They help my mind unwind. I'm better now.