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Battling the comfort eating.

Monday, February 04, 2013

I suddenly had this urge to eat but I just ate an hour ago. So I stopped and thought, what is going on? Oh, I had a stressful conversation with a client who insists on making very simple things incredibly difficult. I thought last month she was going to stop using me but she didn't. I'm honestly not smart enough to do this job and that bothers me. I hate to admit my short comings. I should be able to do this job. I should be able to learn the things I don't know, but I haven't succeeded and thus, feel stupid and inadequate. These feelings trigger the desire for comfort and I've nowhere to get that-except food.

But today, I am saying no (I hope). Part of the reason this bothers me is it again narrows my work options. I am unskilled labor except I'm short, old and fat which removes jobs that involve physical labor. It's depressing.

I did get on my treadmill and did my 45 minutes. While I was hesitant to start and kept wishing to quit, once I got done, I felt great. I was happy and actually enjoyed the exercise. Or more honestly, enjoyed the fact that I accomplished something. Seems silly but I've not accomplished anything for a long, long time.

I weighed myself this morning and am very unhappy at the 193 pounds it read. My clothes are too tight and I hate this. (I'm only 5ft 1 so that's morbidly obese) I've logged my food so far today as well. I iced my foot after I walked and am trying to sit less today. Did some hand weights as well.

I need to keep working on my health plan but I need to work on myself as well. I need to find something useful to do and something with income would be nice. Office work, sadly, isn't it. Home health care isn't it. I wish I knew what "it" was.

I'm rather bummed. No feeding the anxiety monster, though. Must find a way to either not need the comfort or to get it elsewhere-probably the fist one.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You've made a start. That's an improvement! Hang in there.
    1840 days ago
    Hugs and a way to go on the exercise and how it felt after. Woohoo!
    1841 days ago
    Thank you so much for your honest post. I'm so glad you shared your triumph over the comfort eating! Celebrating with you. You also should celebrate your treadmill work and remember that awesome feeling you had when you were done.

    Keep up the good work!

    As for the parts of you that you're discouraged with, I'm sending a hug:

    1841 days ago
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