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My lastest loss....

Monday, February 04, 2013

Hello strangers! It is your sporadic, random spark friend....never know when I'm going to pop up! I keep it exciting that way I guess. I know I should be more regular, but there are reasons I hate sitting at my pc in my house, for longer than it takes to log my stuff, and check my facebook.....And even as I type this I can see how lame of an excuse it seems. Maybe I'm just lazy, who knows.....

Anyway....My latest weight loss.....I think the last weigh in I had was in early December. I had lost a good amount, totaling 50 pounds so far. Then, I got ever so slightly off track. I had a period of 2 weeks where either I was sick or my little girl, so missed to gym quite a bit. Then there was the obligatory Christmas goodies I was surrounded by. And I caved to temptation more than once. Working as a cashier meant that it was a super busy time at work, plus overtime, great for the paycheck, but exhausting. There was also the depression of the holidays that seems to creep up on me. My best friend killed her self the day after Christmas a few years ago, so it's not my favorite time of the year, and being forced to put on a jolly hat makes it worse. But, I survived the holidays, as we all do....usually....

In comes January. I knew that I needed to get to a weigh in. But I was dreading it. I KNEW I would see a gain on the scale, and was afraid of what that would do to my already brittle resolve. I started making sure I was within my calories again, every day (mostly) and getting my butt to the gym at least 4-5 times a week (mostly). I told myself I'd give myself till the middle of the month, that way I could do some damage control. Then the 15th came and went, and I still didn't go. If I were actually honest with myself, my gym attendance was still more sporadic than it should be and while I was staying within my calorie range, I was definitely hovering at the top. I couldn't bring myself to go face the music.

Finally, last Thursday I had to go to the Rec Center (the place I weigh in because they graciously let me use their scale without charge) to sign my little girl up for soccer. So, I was there, I was going to weigh and see how bad it was, finally. I shed my jacket, and my shoes, as I always do. I stepped on the scale......I stepped off the scale, zeroed it out, stepped back on, got the same result.....I wonder if it's working properly, but the person who weighed directly before didn't seem to think anything was off....but it still doesn't seem right. The little digital read out says I've lost 17 pounds!!! It still doesn't seem possible.

Granted, this was over a 2 month period, so I could have done better, but it certainly put skip in my step. It's proved two things to me. Well, the first thing it simply reinforced. And that's that if I were to really apply myself, and could accomplish truly great things. And second, that I've got to lighten up on myself a bit. I feel guilty if I'm at the top of my calorie range, but I have adjusted it to be lower than recommended anyway. I fell guilty if I don't make to the gym at least 5 times a week, but my fitness minutes will be over by an hour because when I do make it to the gym I really crush it. I think in my case, the old cliche is true, I am my own worse enemy. I'm gonna have to work on

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    That 17 loss could mean that the habits you defaulted to are not nearly as bad as you thought. You are right we are our hardest person to please. Maybe you should redirect your focus. Be nicer to yourself and strive for happiness instead of perfection. You can be the healthiest person in the world but it's not going to mean much if you're miserable doing what you are doing.

    I have found that last piece of the puzzle isn't food, or exercise, it's my spirit and how that's doing. If it's in the right place everything else just seems to fall into place.

    Take care
    1839 days ago
    Dawn,my friend I have missed you. How is Willow doing? Well I hope. Sound like you are doing quite well. emoticon on the weight loss. This is emoticon . I do a two day workout,one day rest . I do cardio for 30 minutes before every strength training day and 22 minutes after my strength training.
    So over indulging on the holidays,not getting all your workouts in and working extended hours ,really kept you from losing weight. This is funny.All of this happened and look at what happened.
    I agree with STUFFANFLUFF,stop being so hard on yourself. Take your time and do this right.Rushing leads to prolonged soreness,fatigue and quitting.
    1840 days ago
    Woot! Congrats! That is wonderful. Yes we tend to be our own worst enemy. Stand and be proud. You are doing great!!!!
    1840 days ago
  • HEIDIC75
    hey girl glad to see ya on here !!!! way to go girl keep up the good work
    1841 days ago
    I struggle with my sparkpeople relationship too. Not that I don't love the community, because I do. But I hate the idea of sitting at the computer talking about being healthy, rather than getting out there and actually being healthy. So I understand the not wanting to sit at your computer longer than you have to thing.

    However, sounds like you did great. It really sounds like you have the weight loss thing down. Even with out frequent weight ins, it's a part of your life. Now quit being so hard on yourself! emoticon

    1841 days ago
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