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    JORDANLHALL   5,769
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So Many Changes


Monday, February 04, 2013

Happy Monday everyone! Haha the only reason I can be upbeat about it is because it's my Friday.

I can't help but feel that some major internal changes have been happening to me in recent times. The car was a big one, of course, but some other surprises have popped up that have caught me off guard. For one my ex got into contact with me last week and we ended up have a late dinner Friday night. I was struck by how fine I felt. We were able to sit and chat about what we've been up to and whatnot, even though he was a little uncomfortable (the last time we met, it was not good, nor was I in a good place). No matter where I was in the healing process after the split, I always was haunted by what happened, and there was always a kernel of hate and bitterness in my heart. That night that darkness was... gone!

Suddenly I don't feel anything bad towards my ex and what happened. I mean yeah, somewhere deep down it still hurts (and always will), but all that resentment and hatred and hurt was just gone. And more importantly I was free to be able to interact with him and to be a person free from all those negative emotions. I can't believe how much they were weighing me down! It's like I'm lighter, a whole different person even. It's... liberating.

So it's safe to say that for the first time I'm in a truly good place concerning my divorce. As of right now I think we're going to try the friends thing and see how that goes. I'm not expecting anything good or bad to come out of it, and whatever happens I'm content with this new outlook on life that I've attained.

And another change that's happened in my life - I love sushi! Haha I've had a few encounters with the food genre in the past, and they were terrible. But recently I've tried it again and decided that I love it! Haha that's good news for eating healthy, even if it's rather expensive. Good thing I don't have to eat out, because my local Kroger has a nice little sushi bar where they make platters daily! And a whole box of spicy crab rolls is only 286 calories! It's always exciting to make new discoveries,even if it's just sushi.

I can't wait to see where this new feeling of a new self leads me. I'm entertaining the ideas of exploring new things, spend my days off going to museums or trying to piece together the costume design portfolio that's been on my mind since college. Maybe I could even take a stab at writing or entertaining the idea of going to grad school. The possibilities are endless!

Haha obviously I'm in a good mood.

I've been doing okay on food the past few days since my first of the month weight in. I've stayed in my calorie range, even if it's been at the very top, and I've been doing alright with balancing veggies, fruits, and proteins. I had Wendy's twice after work, but I stuck with the baked potato and small chili, which, if there's anything healthy on the menu, that's the best bet I think. With my new taste for sushi and a fresh produce run, I think I'm set for good choices for the rest of the week. Now the only challenge is to get on the bike and do some cardio.

Well. That's enough blabbering for today. Got to muster up the juju to get through the work day tonight. I hope everyone's week is off to a great start so far! Here's to making great choices and making progress!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
ATTACKFATCAT 2/4/2013 2:28PM

    I love me some sushi. When I first started dating B I had never tried it and stuck to hibachi when we would go. I finally got curious and started trying a piece or two of his, and almost a year later, that is now all I get when we go out to a sushi/hibachi place! I don't think I have any local Kroger's that offer sushi, but I may have to check!

Glad you and your ex are able to talk like that and that you are OK with that. I don't know if I'll ever get to that point, but if you two can be friends, then that's GREAT!

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