Monday, February 04, 2013
Do we have any former successful career-driven DIVAS turned SAHM in here? Even though I work part-time from home for non-profit organizations, I am for the most part a stay-at-home mom. BUT I use to run entire organizations flawlessly - why is it that now I can't seem to run my household or keep up with laundry efficiently? I know I can't compare the two, but I do. I am so blessed to be able to stay home, my husband's salary covers our needs and we do okay. But I have the ability to get a full-time job that would be significant. We could have so much more, but at what cost? Now that all my kids are in school, I struggle with this dilemma. If I went back to work, we could afford a lot more things for the kids and vacations and such - BUT - they'd have to be in after-care after school. I also am very scared that if I went back to work I'd stop going to the gym and let old bad habits creep back in. That is a huge fear, and I'm struggling with my weight right now. I think I know I just need to be appreciative of this luxury, cherish the kiddos, volunteer at the school and keep doing what I do, and focus on my health. Then I feel guilty for even considering going back to work right now. My kids are 16, 9, almost 8 and 4. I feel like this should be a no-brainer, but the flip side is I'm kinda lonely. I don't really have any besties yet here in this town. I've met some amazing local women, some in person and some online - and I do have opportunities to meet up with them from time to time, but then the madness of mama mayhem usually gets in the way. My ultimate dream is to just finish school (degree Psychology) and finish my personal trainer certification.... but I can't really afford to do that right now. Maybe in 6 months. I think I'm being impatient. Then I think I'm not good enough to be a personal trainer anyway, I'm too fat, or too old, and who the heck would hire me?? Where in the world does this self-doubt come from? Why do we, as women, do this to ourselves?
I guess the 'Leo' in me misses the rock star status. I use to be the 'go to' person, I got things done, I was the expert, I know how to make things happen. I got lots of attention and kudos and the rush from being the best in my field. Now, I'm just like everybody else, nothing too special (at least it feels that way sometimes). I am blessed though to have a helpful and supportive husband. God bless that man.
Anyone else get the stay-at-home mama blues?
Here's an interesting article: momastery.com/blog/2013/
And here is a pic of my 4 amazing blessings !