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Modern Day Mama

Monday, February 04, 2013

Do we have any former successful career-driven DIVAS turned SAHM in here? Even though I work part-time from home for non-profit organizations, I am for the most part a stay-at-home mom. BUT I use to run entire organizations flawlessly - why is it that now I can't seem to run my household or keep up with laundry efficiently? I know I can't compare the two, but I do. I am so blessed to be able to stay home, my husband's salary covers our needs and we do okay. But I have the ability to get a full-time job that would be significant. We could have so much more, but at what cost? Now that all my kids are in school, I struggle with this dilemma. If I went back to work, we could afford a lot more things for the kids and vacations and such - BUT - they'd have to be in after-care after school. I also am very scared that if I went back to work I'd stop going to the gym and let old bad habits creep back in. That is a huge fear, and I'm struggling with my weight right now. I think I know I just need to be appreciative of this luxury, cherish the kiddos, volunteer at the school and keep doing what I do, and focus on my health. Then I feel guilty for even considering going back to work right now. My kids are 16, 9, almost 8 and 4. I feel like this should be a no-brainer, but the flip side is I'm kinda lonely. I don't really have any besties yet here in this town. I've met some amazing local women, some in person and some online - and I do have opportunities to meet up with them from time to time, but then the madness of mama mayhem usually gets in the way. My ultimate dream is to just finish school (degree Psychology) and finish my personal trainer certification.... but I can't really afford to do that right now. Maybe in 6 months. I think I'm being impatient. Then I think I'm not good enough to be a personal trainer anyway, I'm too fat, or too old, and who the heck would hire me?? Where in the world does this self-doubt come from? Why do we, as women, do this to ourselves?

I guess the 'Leo' in me misses the rock star status. I use to be the 'go to' person, I got things done, I was the expert, I know how to make things happen. I got lots of attention and kudos and the rush from being the best in my field. Now, I'm just like everybody else, nothing too special (at least it feels that way sometimes). I am blessed though to have a helpful and supportive husband. God bless that man.

Anyone else get the stay-at-home mama blues?

Here's an interesting article:

And here is a pic of my 4 amazing blessings !

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    i am also a leo. lol anyway i have four children as well. they are 13, 10, 4, 18 mo. i have not had the opportunity to stay home. so me myself i would say stay home, take care of yourself. then maybe down the road you could get a part time job to get it started then step in full time. but you are the only one that can make that choice. good luck to you.
    1843 days ago
    Been there, done that! You're the only one who can really make the decision. It's hard to not be in the work force sometimes, and get the feedback for a great job and be around other people. At the same time it's so hard to leave the kids to go to work full time. I wish you lots of luck as you make your decision. I am sure whatever you decide will be the best one for you and your family. Each family and each situation is unique and no one can really know what's best for yours.
    1843 days ago
    Good luck with earning your degree, making new worthwhile connections and getting things running smoothly at home. There should be an App for that ;)
    1843 days ago
    Oh yeah, I know exactly what you mean! I'm not sure I could say I was "career driven" but I did work full time until we moved to Texas. I haven't finished my degree and I had to stay home with the kids because I couldn't get a job that would pay enough for daycare back then. (Well, I still can't, but they dont' really need daycare anymore.) But I haven't gone back to get a job because 1) I really do want to get back into college and finsh a degree, 2) if I got a job, I'd have to figure out what to do during the summer when my kids would need a place to go and I can't afford it, and 3) I really want to focus on my writing and my health. I've decided to try to go back to school this fall (rather than take a part time job somewhere that I won't enjoy), and I want to do as much as I can to get the rest of this excess weight off by then. I also want to get more serious about submitting my manuscripts. In some ways, it's nice now that my kids are all in school full time and I get the days to myself now, but in other ways, it is VERY lonely being a stay at home mom! Most of my friendships are primarily online because I don't get out often. I've tried to be more social the last few years just for my own mental headspace, but it's hard.
    1843 days ago
    Your family is a true treasure. They are adorable. I've had it all. A couple of careers, time to stay at home with my kids, and now juggling work with caring for my 98 year old dad. There will be time to go to back to work. You'll know when it will be the right time. Enjoy your treasures while you can.
    1843 days ago
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