Gosh, I am in one FOUL mood today.

I know it's all hormonal, but it's hard to pull out of a tailspin when you're in it.

Add to that the cold and feeling like a piece of beef jerky - all dry and brittle - and I'm just ornery.

This morning during my drive in to work I had the thought: I want to be an athlete.

By it's simplest defintion and Athlete is someone who is proficient at sports or other forms of physical exercise.

That definition doesn't say 'best'; it doesn't say 'fastest'; it says 'proficient.' That means someone has competency or skill. Again, nothing about being the best.

So, it kind of turns the idea of beating myself up for never being able to run an 8 minute mile on it's head, doesn't it? After all, I can be a proficient or skilled distance runner and not do it the most quickly. I can be an efficient runner. I can be a capable runner. I can most certainly be an able runner.

Being that I am such a competitive person by nature it's hard for me to get past the idea that can't be first at this. It's a mental challenge. It's taking a race and running it against myself. I'm running against that voice in my head that tries to bargain and tries to get me to stop. I'm running against the cold and the wind that tells me that if I just go back inside I'll feel better. Feeling better hasn't helped me be better at anything ever.

In other news with the hormones comes extra weight. Up an incredible four pounds this morning. I don't get it. I never will get it. I hate being a girl.

Time to go kick some butt at work... I've done enough wining for today.