Today is day 38 of my current "on track" streak!
I actually started streaking last March. As the weight and inches have come off, I am starting to see a little bit of a figure. Before, I felt like I looked like a big round beach ball. Now I think I look like a woman again, and it feels great.
Before I got on track last March, my life was a circle; low self esteem would lead to binge eating....binge eating would lead to more low self esteem...more low self esteem would lead to more binging, and on and on.
How did I get out of that stupid, self hating and self destructive circle? Well, I just decided to TRY. Instead of saying "I can't do it" or "Its too hard to lose weight" or "I have so much weight to lose, it will take me forever", I started saying POSITIVE things to myself.
I said "It will take me a long time to reach my goal, but I can make lots of progress along the way if I just get started."
I said "I won't think about weight...I will just think about getting HEALTHY."
I said "I can do anything if I'm willing to work for it."
So on March 1, 2013, I started streaking. My streak consisted of just doing my best every day to be as healthy as possible. It was not about being perfect, because that is just unattainable. But as long as I was putting forth my best effort each day (and accepting that some days would be better than others), I knew I would make progress. My first streak lasted 290 days before I had a little binge. But I just started a new streak right away, and my second streak lasted 13 days. Once again, I binged, but I just picked myself up and got right back on track.
I've been at a plateau since September but it has not discouraged me very much. I just keep going like the Energizer Bunny! I am making progress in all sorts of ways, and I get to celebrate Non-Scale Victories all the time. For example, yesterday morning when I put my robe on, hubby said "Look how much that robe wraps around you." Well, until he pointed it out, I just hadn't even noticed! That robe used to be so tight on me that it didn't close all the way in the front. Now it wraps around me like a blanket! That was an NSV that just sneaked up on me, lol.
Now that I'm looking and feeling like a woman again, I decided to start treating myself like one! I want to start wearing earrings and makeup again...its been years since I've done that! So I got my old jewelry box out of the spare bedroom closet. Guess what? I only have 2 pairs of earrings, and they are big plastic looking ones from the 80's! So I will NOT be wearing them, they look a little ridiculous and costume-ish now! (Although seeing them brought back some nostalgia. I spent an hour listening to some Ratt and Skid Row, lol.)
On Sunday I went to CVS to get some makeup. Wow, there was a LOT of makeup to choose from! How on earth can you decide what to buy when there are so many choices? It was a bit too much for me. So I decided to start with nail polish. Lots and lots of colors there but I knew pretty much what color I wanted, a pale rose. I found a color I liked, and got a clear top coat (thanks to my Sparkfriend Dee who suggested that.) Then I remembered that a couple of my Sparkfriends had recommended that I get something called BB Cream. I found that and added it to my basket, along with some cosmetic sponges, cotton balls and nail polish remover. Then on to mascara. I got the one in the pink and green tube, because that stuff has been around for decades (I wore it as a teenager in the 70's) so it must be good!
Next was eye shadow. I wasn't so sure I should bother with that, but there was some on clearance so I got a little case with 3 different shades of brown. Not sure if that is right for me, but since it was so cheap, it won't be a huge waste of money if I never use it. Next was lip gloss, and that was really hard! I mean, I don't want to look made up, I just want to look kind of natural. So I got a real pale shade of pink but now I think thats wrong. Oh well, it was the cheapest brand they had so I can't feel too bad about it.
While hubby and I watched the Super Bowl last night, I polished my nails...even my toenails! I have really short fingernails, and I won't be growing them. Taking care of the house and my adult son who has autism means that long nails are not practical. But even short nails look pretty and feminine with a little polish on them!
Getting ready to go to the store to get freggies. So I will go put on a little BB Cream and mascara and lip gloss.
Have a healthy week, Sparkfriends!