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    WILLEYDEBORAH   5,278
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My son's birthday


Monday, February 04, 2013

Today is my son's birthday. He is 18 years old. Unfortunately he and I do not get along at all. He has absolutely no respect for me whatsoever and he says things to me and calls me names that just cut through my heart. Besides the pain I experienced 18 years ago, today has to be the worst pain yet. I let him out of my car last night because I refuse to take the verbal abuse anymore. I don't deserve it and I don't have to take it. Until he realizes that he is throwing his life away on alcohol and drugs I will not subject myself to being around him anymore. It hurts so bad because I know the potential he has and I worry non stop about his safety. People keep telling me to practice tough love and to stop enabling him. It is so hard to do when it is your own child. I just keep praying that God will intervene somehow and turn his life around.

Happy Birthday Mitchell! I love you.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
LUANN7 2/6/2013 4:33PM

    I am praying for you both. Hang in there sweetie!Everything will work out for the best but in the mean time ask God for his helping hand.
in God's love, Lu:)

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LIVINGLOVINLIFE 2/5/2013 12:09PM

    Deb. I am so sorry you are going thru this. I do not have any children of my own but I do have 5 step children. They have all had problems of one kind or another. They would listen to me show me respect to my face and then go out and continue doing the same things over and over again. It causes such heartache, sometimes I don't know what to do. I listen to them, and when they start asking or telling me about this disaster or that problem I listen but I very seldom come to their rescue anymore. I tell them I will pray for them and if they every really want to change they can come here and I will get them some help. They know that they would have to leave their old way of life behind them and they aren't going to do that. There are no answers to this problem. Some times they change as they get older and have a family that depends on them but not always. I will pray for your son and for you. I know the Lord will give you comfort in your time of trouble and sadness. God Bless you. Pat

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KATHYSCOLLIES 2/4/2013 8:33PM

    Oh Deb, I am SO sorry that you and Michael are having to deal with all of this stress between the two of you.

I can certainly understand the pain it is causing you. Although I don't believe that drugs were an issue I do think that alcohol and bad friends were a big part of what I went through years ago with my older son. At 16 I had to turn him out of the house in the best interests of the whole family - he would not go to school, or get a job, or help out around the house, or, or, or.... plus he was bringing girls home whenever we weren't there. I cried myself to sleep for the next three days, terrified that my actions would push him over the edge completely, terrified that I'd never hear from again, terrified of having to identify him in the morgue.

He moved back in with us several times, we 'bailed' him out of different situations financially and emotionally, gave him all the support we could at the time. He never finished high school (only completely did his grade 9 year), then when he was 25 he came to talk to me and let me know that he " wished there had been someone - anyone - when he was younger who could have convinced him to go to school, get a job, be responsible for his own actions"... At my reaction, he did add that there wasn't anyone at all that he could think of who might have had the power back then to make him really listen , he had just been too wound up in himself....

He was admitted to University as a mature student, and completed two full years before he couldn't afford to keep going, and got all As and B+s while he was there. He's now a manager with his company and has a family of his own. It took him until he was nearly 30 to grow up, but he is a hard worker, and a good Dad, with a very kind heart - someone whom I am now very proud to call my son!

I hope that there will be a time when you too can look back at this period in Michael's life and know that "This too will (has ) pass(ed)"!!!

I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Kathy

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WILLEYDEBORAH 2/4/2013 7:52PM

    Thank you to everyone for your prayers and support.
Deb

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SPARKLISE 2/4/2013 6:40PM

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SKDUFORD 2/4/2013 1:04PM

    Recognizing your limits is the first real step to change! I know it is hard. But remember, God loves him even more than you do. Pray that God will bring him out of this darkness. And remember the ultimate goal is for him to be able to manage his life successfully. He needs you more than ever to be strong in your own life so when he is ready to listen, you are ready to teach. emoticon

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SPARTAN40 2/4/2013 11:52AM

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COOP9002 2/4/2013 11:38AM

    Happy Birthday to your son, Michael. I will join you in praying that the Father gets his attention.

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