Monday, February 04, 2013
I sat in church yesterday morning and listened to that beautiful reading from Paul 1st Corinthians Chapter 13. Student of the bible or not you've heard it at weddings and saw it on numerous greeting cards. "Love is patient, love is kind...." it opines. It tells us that if we are eloquent, wise and perceptive to all things in life and speak without love, well, we have nothing. It concludes with the mighty and thunderous line, "In short three things will last, faith, hope and love. Of these three love is the greatest." ( I realize my translation is loose, but you get the point.) From deep inside a quiet voice added "And faith is the most difficult."
I doubt myself a million times per day. Despite all the Divine reassurance available to me I still choose to go my own way and be left to my own devices. There is a proverb that states "Man plans and God laughs." It's as if I reach a point in my day to day life, lift my head skyward to say "Thanks so much. I'll take it from here."
Jesus once said "Blessed are those who cant see and still believe." I rarely count myself in that group. I'm more like Thomas who demanded to see the risen Jesus a sort of ancient "cash on the barrel head."
I monitor my intake, I exercise, I mediate and pray and if, after a prescribed period of time, mostly defined by me, things aren't going according to Hoyle, well its time to bail out. I must be doing something wrong and to trust a deity, a process or a practice may work for everyone else but not for me, thank you very much.
Love is ooey gooey. Faith is hard work. It's tough, it requires attention to detail and that nasty work "discipline." Faith means that no matter which way the wind is blowing you keep walking the same path over and over.
Yeah, faith is the most difficult but sandwiched in between it and love is the little noticed virtue of hope. Each morning I look skyward and I muster enough faith to hope that today is the day I see the path clearer.
I wont quit, nor will I give up. Some days that virtue of faith is like gnawing on a chunk of hard bread. It's cold comfort.