Monday, February 04, 2013
I have a really hard time every time one of these challenges come where I have to produce some sort of self love. I am not wired for this. Modesty is defined as a noun that means freedom from vanity, boastfulness, ostentation or showy extravagance. That says a lot doesn't it ; however, I dont find myself to be modest at all. What I find is that I lived in a world that constantly told me I wasn't good enough, I wasn't thin enough, I wasn't worthy enough for most of my life. When you live in a fat body for the world to see then that is all the world sees and even when they make compliments they still sound like insults.
Insult number 1: " you have a beautiful face" ... hmm what does that say about the rest of me ?
Insult number 2: " You have a great personality" .. visually isnt good so we better look inward .
Insult number 3: you are a BBW ... if you really must use the word big in description of me skip it because I promise my attitude at that is bigger.
My point here is that when you are a fat bodied person, people play on different qualities and although they dont mean to I am sure in some ways they turn those traits into negitives at least for me they did . But I vow to replace these thought processes in my heart, soul and mind.
On the Falling into fitness team this week we are to right a positive affirmation every day so all week I vow to to post a positive blog about myself . I will do this because I am worth and deserve to love myself even if the world has been cruel in the past I have the ability to make the future better for the only one that matters that is me .
I am without fail a very compassionate person. I can not tell you the last time that I was unsympathetic to anyone. I give the world as much as I have and then some. I do not judge, I suppose because I have been judged that I know how much it hurts. I refuse to do that to people. I am never a person that kicks a person when they are down. I have found in my life that compassion for others just makes me feel better. It is just so much easier to make people feel better than it is to feel bad all the time because the world has ugly spots in it.
I am intelligent. I am not talking book smart or common sense . My mother was very insistent that I learn intelligence . She said that anyone could be smart or dumb but it was the perception that others had of you that was important. You should never use your mind to demean or dwindle others. It is our task in the world to be knowledgeable and continue to increase that knowledge for the betterment of life for yourself and others. I can honestly say that by her definition which is the only one I use I am intelligent. I have never used my intelligence to tear down another person but on the other hand I believe that I have enriched many lives with the knowledge that I have.
Sometimes in this world we forget that while we are being everyone else's hero, we need to be our own .