Diverting my frustration
Monday, February 04, 2013
My task today is to blog about the reasons behind my fitness and weight loss goals, what is my true motivation, and what I hope to achieve or experience once I reach the goal. This should be interesting as I'm more than a little frustrated that for the 2nd week in a row after sticking very close to my goals for both nutrition and fitness, I haven't lost a single pound. And while my measurements look smaller than 4 weeks ago, my clothes feel the exact same. I'm not entirely convinced I measured the same spots.
But that is not what this blog is supposed to be about. My goals? What are they really? See, this is a hard one for me to define. I can't really say it is outside pressure pushing me to lose weight and be more fit because most people seem to look at me like I have two heads when I mention that I am attempting to do either. I really do want to fit into my clothes again. I like the way some of them make me feel when I do. I'm getting older. Getting and staying fit will be harder to do with each year that passes. I don't want to get to the point that my hard work won't show. I want to be the healthy looking old chick - the one with the glow to her face that looks like she can do whatever needs doing. I guess that is it in a nutshell really. I want to look that way, but I want to be that way too. I'd like to say it is all about being able to keep up with the kid and eventually grandchildren if that is to be, but really I just want to be able to be self-sufficient and look like I am as well.
My true motivation at this point is just that I really don't want to fail. At the moment, fear of failure is a bigger motivating force than anything else. I've shared the goals, including running in my first 5K, with nearly everyone I know and only one person has asked about what happens after the 5k. I hadn't really thought about post-5k. I guess just to keep it up so the following year, I best my time.
As fir what I hope to achieve, I think I hope that this all becomes so second nature to me, that it doesn't always feel like work. I don't want every decision to be a debate that I have to have in my head before making the right choice.